Tremble, Little Lunar Boy
by AccioTintin
Summary: A long tale of love at Hogwarts. A reprise of my original version. Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

_Oh, we could blame it on our hands_

_They lifted the drink to our mouths so we drank it_

_Or we could blame it on our bodies_

_They say we like the way we feel when we get touched_

_You've got your fingers snared in my veins_

_I think it's time you pulled them out_

_And I don't care about the flesh it'll tear_

_It isn't flesh that I'm worried about_

* * *

Sirius held a freshly rolled joint out to Remus, who crinkled up his nose in disgust.

"I swear that I'll stop bugging you when you take a toke!" Sirius was close to begging his werewolf pal who was sitting beside him, arms and legs crossed in a stance of defiance.

The four boys known as the Marauders were sitting in a circle up in the Astronomy Tower. It had been Sirius's idea that they all hung out up there. He had told them he had a bottle of Firewhiskey he wished to drink with them- And another surprise, which happened to be a Muggle drug he had scored from one of his mysterious Muggle contacts. James and Peter were up for trying some of course, however goody-two-shoes Lupin was going to take more convincing…

"Don't be a wanker, I am not having any of that." Remus said simply, turning away from the offering. Sirius rolled his gorgeous grey eyes before he nudged the bottle of Firewhiskey in Remus's direction instead.

"Have a sip of this, then." Sirius said as a compromise, before lighting up the joint with the tip of his wand, bringing it to his lips, and taking a long drag. Remus scoffed at his rebellious best friend and then took a sip of the alcohol. He might have been against Muggle drugs, but Wizard alcohol? He could handle that- albeit not very well.

Remus swallowed a mouthful of the Firewhiskey, and then pulled a face. "Oh, this is _foul_. And you wonder why I don't party with you lot. Yuck." Remus muttered, making James laugh obnoxiously, before he took the bottle from Remus to have a mouthful himself. It went down a lot easier for James, but that was because he was Sirius's best friend and was often out drinking with the long-haired lad. He then handed it to Peter, who sipped it quite gingerly and promptly handed it back to Remus. Remus sighed, but drank some none the less. He found with pleasure that it left a sweet aftertaste and a fiery, toasty feeling in his gut.

Before Remus had realised what he was doing, he had consumed the entirety of the bottle. Sirius looked over to him and asked for the bottle back, and let out his trademark bark-like laugh when he saw that Remus had finished it off.

"Oi, lads! Moony's just drunk all the bloody Firewhiskey!" Sirius proclaimed, and James and Peter both looked at their now thoroughly legless friend. They promptly burst into laughter.

Remus pouted.

"I feel… funny." He slurred, and then his eyes locked onto the half-finished joint held between Sirius's fingertips. "Hey! Give some of that, Padfoot!" He cried suddenly, reaching out clumsily for the joint. Sirius drew it away from him.

"Oh, so _now_ you want this? All it took was a bottle of Firewhiskey, and well-behaved little Remus John Lupin is succumbing to peer pressure." Sirius said smugly. He handed it over to Remus, who took a long drag. He began to cough furiously. Sirius was almost worried that he'd hack up a lung. Whilst Remus was in the process of 'hacking up a lung' he handed the joint back to Sirius, who raised an eyebrow. "It's pretty strong. Are you okay?"

Remus nodded, ceasing his coughing. Peter piped up with a question. "Are you feeling anything?"

There were a few moments, before Remus shook his head, making his hair flop over his forehead. James watched Remus closely, before saying to Sirius, "Give him another toke, Pads."

"Aye-aye, captain." Sirius replied with a smirk. Remus made to snatch the joint. Once again Sirius had to hold it away from his friend.

"Let me do it." He murmured. He brought the joint to Remus's lips in a teasingly slow manner. Remus took another few, smaller drags. His coughing was minimal. He finished it off, and then Sirius found himself engaged in conversation with James and Peter, regarding the bums of the girls in their classes, and how pleasantly short some of their skirts were.

Remus was relatively quiet, happily listening in on the boy's evaluation of the girls, but he soon began to giggle. His giggles were soft at first, but they grew into near guffaws, which of course interrupted their conversation.

"Something's tickling me!" The brunette choked out. Peter laughed boisterously. "Moony's completely off his tits!" He exclaimed, and James began laughing just as boisterously. Remus stopped his loud laughter and then stated, "I feel kinda fuzzy. We should get some ice-cream!" Remus leapt up onto his feet, and threw his arms into the air. He began to skip towards the balcony edge. Sirius was up quickly to grab Remus's shoulders.

"Uh, Moony, I think I should get you back to the dorm."

"But the party has only just begun!" Remus protested, attempting to shake Sirius off. Sirius pulled him towards the door. "I'm sorry, but I don't think you've ever been high before and this night could end badly if I don't get you in a safe environment."

"You're such a good friend." Remus slurred, his attitude changing suddenly. He leaned into Sirius, who straightened him up again with an arm around his waist. As they reached the door, Sirius turned around to warn Peter and James that if they smoked the rest of the joints, he'd turn them inside out.

Once they were out, they slowly began their perilous journey down the stairs. Remus was tripping over his feet, giggling at everything and anything. At the bottom of the long and winding stairs, Remus struggled out of Sirius's grip. "Oh, Padfoot, you're manhandling me! Cheeky!" Remus skipped ahead of Sirius, who groaned.

"This was a terrible idea." He mumbled to himself, and then jogged to catch up to Remus. He took a hold of Remus's hand, and Remus's giggles were interrupted by a hiccup, and a statement about how warm Sirius's hand was. He gave Sirius an almost flirtatious grin, and Sirius felt heat rise up his cheeks. That was a regular occurrence around Remus. Sirius didn't know why, but he always blushed when Remus smiled at him as of late.

After a few corners, Sirius stopped walking, his hand still holding tightly onto Remus's. Remus looked up at Sirius and squinted incredulously.

"For what reason have we stopped progressing forward in our stumbled and drunken manner, Sirius Orion Black?" Remus asked in an over-the-top posh tone. Sirius ignored him, choosing instead to back the smaller lad against the wall and gently cup his cheeks with shaking hands.

"Blimey, Remus, I hope you don't remember this in the morning," He muttered, before capturing Remus's lips in his own.

* * *

Remus had always been an early bird. He was usually up just past the break of dawn, and rushed to get ready to class. That ensured him time to eat in peace, without his friends flicking scrambled eggs around or putting charms on other peoples sausages, and _no_, that's not a pun for anything else- Although there was that one time James's wand misfired and Peter ended up copping a blast to the nether region, but that's a tale for another day.

That particular morning, after the Marauders little get-together in the Astronomy Tower, left Remus struggling to even open his eyes. They were stuck together by some sort of gooey secretion, and his head was thumping like mad. He felt like absolute crap, almost like it was a night after a full moon. He wished he was still asleep and didn't have to get up for school, as he had been having a very pleasant dream.

"Hey, Moony! You up yet?" James asked loudly, and Remus groaned, rolling over onto his face. James chuckled, "Rough night, eh?"

"Ugh. What the hell happened?" Remus asked, his voice muffled by his pillow. James shrugged nonchalantly, sticking one of his legs into a pair of pants. He hopped on one foot attempting to put his other leg in.

"You drank the Firewhiskey all for yourself, for starters. You had a bit of Pads's special Muggle herb or whatever it was, and then you had to be taken back to bed. You were hammered, Moony! You're a bloody hero!" James began to laugh loudly again, making Remus bury his face further into his pillow. Try as he might, all Remus would remember from the night before was asking for a toke of Sirius's joint.

"Good thing it's Saturday." Peter chimed, well awake and cheery. Remus didn't answer, so James finished zipping up his pants and stood by his bed, hands on his hips. He gave Remus the look of a classic scolding mother. "Are you getting up any time soon? Blimey, this is unlike you! Usually you're the one pestering me in the morning."

Remus winced, "Why are you shouting at me?" He mumbled, and James grinned broadly. He looked over at Peter and said with a raised eyebrow, "Look at this, Wormy. Nerdy little Prefect Remus Lupin is _hungover_!"

Remus interrupted him rudely with, "Shut up! Merlins beard, Prongs! I feel like-" He finished his sentence with a loud groan of pain.

"Like you've been skull-fucked by the giant squid, perhaps?" Sirius suggested, sitting up in his bed and yawning. Remus glared at him. The black haired beauty looked as though he was sleeping nude, but that was no surprise. Sirius didn't have any shame and he wasn't afraid of marching about completely starkers. Most mornings shouts could be heard from the Marauders dorm along the lines of, "PUT ON SOME BLOODY CLOTHES! NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR MANHOOD THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING!" To which Sirius would often reply with, "_Au contraire, _you'll find a lot of people want to see my manhood, be it morning, afternoon, or night."

During the time that Remus was glaring at Sirius, he felt a weird twinge in his brain, like it was trying to tell him something. Remus, being the terribly hungover lad that he was, had no chance of figuring it out.

* * *

About an hour after the other lads had left the dormitory, Remus finally felt ready to get out of bed. He sat up, and placed two feet on the cold floor. He yawned heavily, and rubbed his eyes. He knew he needed to get up, head to the library, and do a little studying for a Charms essay. Not to mention that he had an extra History of Magic class in order to be prepared for an upcoming test. Remus was going to force himself to do so, no matter what.

When he finally managed to get onto his two feet, he changed into casual winter wear- A grey shirt, light brown woollen cardigan, and a pair of woollen gloves. He pulled on black jeans-falling over no less than four times- and slipped into a pair of boots fit for trudging through snow. He wrapped his Gryffindor scarf around his neck and then stood still for a few moments, trying to determine whether he would be warm enough. Remus _hated_ being cold, ever since he was a kid. The coldest he had ever been was the morning after the _accident_, when he woke up in the sterilized, white hospital. The sheets were thin and there seemed to be no heating in his room. He had always wondered why it was so cold, but when he grew up a bit he realised it was because that room was for Werewolf patients, and nobody cared whether or not a Werewolf was comfortable and warm.

* * *

Over in the library Remus was half way through a book when he felt a hard tapping on his shoulder. He looked up into the bright, hazel eyes of James.

"Hey, Moony." He hissed in greeting, and Remus gave him a weak smile. Remus thought about how rare it was to catch James without Sirius. Those two were almost inseparable, the best of friends, and partners in crime.

"Where's Pads? He's usually at your heels like the loyal little puppy he is." Remus asked, looking around the room expecting to see Sirius flirting with some girl. James rolled his eyes, "Don't let him hear you saying that. He's with Binnsy. We've got that study thingy, remember?"

Remus swore under his breath and shut his book. He pushed back his chair and stood up fast, "I forgot all about that. Thanks for reminding me."

"That's what friends are for!" James proclaimed, punching the air with a fist. The librarian could be heard hushing him as the two boys left the room.

They chatted quietly about the Charms work as they walked to the class. Upon arrival, Remus decided he'd like to sit by Peter whilst James and Sirius were seated over the other side of the room. Remus liked Peter, he distracted him less. Whenever Peter _did_ distract him, it was to ask him about a question or statement that he didn't understand. Peter was quiet and awkward, much like Remus himself. Remus and Peter often studied together because Remus found he could get more work done with him.

Binn's set them a couple of chapters to read on Witch Burnings in Salem. The class fell into silence as the students began to read. The study session was optional, but it looked like quite a few students had turned up.

The silence was of course interrupted by James and Sirius. Remus looked across the room at James, laughing quietly, hiding his face behind his book. Sirius was smiling brightly, as though he had told a well-received joke. Remus's eyes locked onto Sirius as he felt that twinge again. Sirius ran a tongue over his lips, and Remus's frowned. He felt as though it were déjà vu, as though he had seen Sirius licking his lips sometime recently. But he couldn't figure out when, and it was annoying him to no end. When he tried to remember, all poor Remus could picture was Sirius's lips, and that tongue sliding over them. He couldn't piece anymore to the picture in his mind. Remus dragged his eyes away from Sirius and back to his book. His mind was still occupied by Sirius, however, as he stared blankly at a single sentence.

With a sudden and sharp gasp, Remus processed the sentence he was staring at.

_The flames kissed her skin, but did not harm her._

_Kissed._

"Oh Merlin, no!"


	2. Chapter 2- Three Cheers For Lily Evans

_Don't rain on my parade, it's gonna glow in the dark_

_I like it better when you can't keep warm_

_Don't ruin a perfect thing_

_A perfect thing_

_The boy on the blue moon hears a nightmare in his head_

* * *

Professor Binns looked up at Remus, surprised at his sudden outburst. Remus's face was twisted with a horrified expression. His eyes darted from the floating ghost teacher over to Sirius and James, on the other side of the room. James looked worried for his friend, and Sirius looked curious as to why Remus had cried out the way he had.

"Romulus? Are you alright?" Binns drawled in question, and Remus stood up. He grabbed his books and said in a shaking and uneven voice, "I just- I uh, feel ill. May I be excused, sir?"

"Well this is not a mandatory class, so of course you may." Binns replied reasonably. Remus took long, fast strides out of the classroom. As soon he was out of the door, he took off at a steady jog towards the dorm.

When Remus reached the Common Room, he felt a wave of relief. He made it into the dorm and collapsed onto his bed, puffing. After a few seconds of catching his breath, he sat up and rustled around in his bedside drawer for something very specific. He let out a squeak of triumph when he found what he was looking for; a bar of sweet, creamy, mouth-watering, milk chocolate_._ Remus tore into the wrapper and then took a massive bite. As he chewed the delicious and calming chocolate, the memories came back to him. He remembered it all…

_Sirius backed Remus against the hard, stone wall and gently cupped his cheeks with shaking hands. "Blimey, Remus, I hope you don't remember this in the morning," He muttered, before he leaned in, closing his eyes. His lips made contact with Remus's, and Remus's tensed. After a moment, Remus found himself closing his own eyes and moving his lips against Sirius's. The kiss was tender, soft, and slow. Not the kind Remus had expected from a guy like Sirius, who could usually be found at parties eating faces off of gorgeous girls. Not this, not gently kissing a boy in a corridor. That wasn't like Sirius at all. When Sirius pulled back, he licked his lips, as though he were trying to taste Remus's spit on them, mingled with his own. Sirius tasted of weed and a hint of Firewhiskey. Remus's nostrils were assailed by the scent of Sirius's expensive cologne, hidden under the smell of that damned weed. Sirius leaned in to kiss him again, and Remus felt cold hands on him, sliding up his sides and bunching up his shirt. He felt his sensitive abdomen being slowly stroked with delicate fingers. _

_The little lunar boy trembled at the soft touches._

_Sirius pulled back, only to kiss Remus again, and again, and again. His lips were soft and experienced against Remus's, which were a little dry and fumbling in comparison. Remus had never been kissed that way, which wasn't a surprise since the only other person who had kissed him was Bertha. But Bertha kissed like a girl, and Sirius kissed like a young man, and it was thrilling. Oh Merlin, it was so damn thrilling. When Sirius finally removed himself from Remus he said quietly, "You look peaky. I better get you into your nice warm bed." And then Sirius lead Remus off towards the dorm, where he tucked the boy in, gave him a final kiss, and left the room…_

Remus gave a loud sigh. To say that he was confused about the situation was an understatement.

_Sirius would have to remember,_ Remus thought whilst taking a bite of chocolate. He was scared to think of what Sirius's opinion was on what had happened. Remus supposed that Sirius was probably disgusted in himself.

Remus slammed the chocolate down on his bedside drawer and began shuffling through it again. He grabbed his diary this time, and opened it to a random page. Remus mostly used his diary for noting when tests were to be taken, and when the moon was full. When he was distraught, he would write down thoughts that came into his mind. Many pages were simple one-liners, other pages had poems written upon them.

Remus angrily gripped his quill, and scribbled on the fresh page with reckless abandon. He wasn't in the mood for writing any soppy poems or jotting down his feelings. He just felt like angry scribbles, because that's what he was. Angry. _Very_ angry, mostly with himself. He was angry at himself for taking the alcohol, the joint, giving in to peer pressure, and especially for letting Sirius kiss him that way…

* * *

James was the first back into the dorm, just over half an hour later. He shot Remus a bright smile, "Hey, Moony. You feeling alright?"

Remus waved weakly, and nodded. Truth be told, he was nowhere near alright.

"Pads and Wormy will be back soon. Pads is choosing today to be an exceptionally slow reader." James explained, sitting on his bed and taking a Snitch from his pocket. Remus let out a long sigh. For a while the only sound that could be heard was the Snitch's little wings, beating so quickly they were impossible to see. Every now and then the beating would stop when James would catch it in one hand. He would then let it go, and the little noise would start again. There was a sense of peace, and Remus was enjoying it.

But of course, that wouldn't last long.

The door flung open, and Sirius burst into the room grinning like a madman.

"Hello, hello!" He said cheerfully. Remus felt his cheeks heating up considerably. James laughed at his best friend, "I take it that you finally finished those boring chapters?"

Sirius nodded vigorously, his luscious black hair falling around his face. He threw himself down onto his bed, and then pulled a face at Remus.

"You look like shit." He said pointedly, and Remus looked away from him. He couldn't risk looking at Sirius, lest he should find his eyes upon Sirius's lips and clue Sirius in about him remembering the night beforehand. Remus nodded his head in reply to Sirius's statement. Sirius scoffed as he crossed his legs. "Still sick, then?" He enquired. Remus gave another nod, staring at his hands as though they were the most interesting things in the entire universe. He could feel Sirius's grey eyes staring at him, burning into his already heated face. As hard as Remus tried not to think about last night, his mind was infiltrated by images of Sirius leaning down to kiss him in that gentle way.

Remus stood up fast enough to make his head spin.

"I have to do something." He gushed, before leaving the room with a heaving stomach and a racing mind. He strode out of the Common Room and towards the library. However he didn't make it that far. He stopped just nearby, in an empty corridor, where he leaned against the wall. He slid down to the cold floor, and hugged his knees close to his chest. The thought of what happened was making him sick. He stayed there for a few minutes, engulfed in silence and bad memories. He heard footsteps approaching him, and was relieved to see it was just Lily Evans.

Lily and Remus were good friends, being Prefects together and all. They spent a lot of time with one another and Lily knew he wasn't like the other Marauders. She didn't have to worry about him making a move on her like she had to with James. She didn't have to worry about him making a move on her friends like she had to with Sirius. Best of all, she could hold an intellectual and deep conversation with him, which she would never pry from Peter.

"Remus? What are you doing here- Wait, are you okay?" Lily rushed over, seeing how much paler than usual Remus looked. Remus shook his head, gingerly standing up. Before he could help himself, he had fallen into Lily's arms and was crying. She rubbed his back comfortingly, whispering sweet nothings. Remus began to confess everything that had happened to her.

"Lily, you won't believe what's happened! Last night I was having a drink with the lads and, well you know Sirius! He had some Muggle drug and I had some, and I had some Firewhiskey and then- Oh, it makes me sick to think of it! But Sirius, he kissed me, right on the mouth. Now I don't know what to do because I can't even look at him!

Lily pulled back fast enough to give herself whiplash, and she raised a sceptical eyebrow. "Remus, are you telling me a lie?" She asked very seriously, and Remus shook his head. "No, I'm not. I swear to Merlin, I am _not_ lying to you." He said in an equally as serious tone. Lily raised her other eyebrow in surprise. "Wow. Have you spoken to him about this?" She asked. Remus bit his lip. "I haven't. You're the first person I've told."

"You mean you've not brought it up with him at all?"

"I can't even look at him, Lily. Every time I do, I remember the kiss. It's bad enough that I have to remember it at all, let alone in the middle of class." Remus said, sounding rather upset. Lily made a sound of realisation. "So that's why you flipped out in class, right?"

Remus nodded, and then Lily frowned at him, observing his distraught facial expression. "What are you going to do about this, Remus?" She asked gently. Remus loosely shrugged and said, "I don't know."

"How about if I got Mary or Marlene to talk to Sirius?" Lily suggested.

"But then he'd know that I told someone, and surely that wouldn't go down well. I bet he's really embarrassed about kissing me-"

"Remus, I see no reason for him to be embarrassed. Don't put yourself down like that. I happen to know that you're a fantastic person, and I'm willing to bet that Sirius things the exact same thing." Lily said with a reassuring smile. Remus couldn't help but smile back at her, although he didn't say anything. A few moments of quiet passed before Lily piped up again.

"So how about if I talked to him then?"

"I don't know." Remus mumbled unsurely as he looked down at the ground. Lily touched his chin, angling his face back to hers. She met his amber eyes with her green. "Do you trust me?" She asked quietly, and Remus nodded a little. "I do."

"Then it's settled. I'll talk to him for you." Lily said with a smile, embracing Remus in another tight hug. "Thank you, Lily. It's no wonder why James likes you so much." Remus said into her shoulder. Lily blushed. "Gross, don't even talk about him. Ugh." She let Remus go, and he apologised. Lily waved a nonchalant hand and then asked when Remus wanted her to talk to Sirius. Remus deliberated before coming to an answer.

"As soon as you can. I was just on my way to the library." Remus took a step backwards, and Lily smiled at him. He said a quick farewell, and then turned around. Lily giggled a little at Remus's awkward goodbye, and then headed on her own back to the Common Room to confront Sirius.


	3. Chapter 3- The Guilt Of Sirius Black

_I won't stop until I can reach you,_

_And get this off my chest._

_A sense of direction_

_To lead you home again._

_Mind your tongue,_

_And save your breath for someone else._

_You won't believe me,_

_We're not the same._

_'Cause I dig,_

_And I dig you too._

* * *

Lily, a beautiful redhead in Fifth Year and the object of affection for James Potter, was on her way to the Gryffindor Common Room. It was there that she was hoping to find Sirius, who was about to get a serious talking to. She reached the portrait entrance to the Common Room and spoke the password. Inside she found the Marauders lounging on the couch before the fireplace, where they always seemed to be when they weren't out being almighty douche-dicks.

The ringleader of the Marauders was James Potter, and in Lily's opinion he was the most unpleasant waste of space on earth. His second in command was Sirius Black, an absolutely gorgeous womanizer (Lily was immune to his charm, however) who was also filthy rich. Remus was next in the ranks, and he was sort of like the puppeteer behind them all, influential and close to insufferably smart. Peter was the Marauders dog, so to speak; He did a lot of the dirty work and seemed to just follow them around. Lily was confused as to how they were all even friends. Remus seemed too good for that gang of ruffians.

James and Sirius began laughing about something as Lily approached. She could see at least five girls dreamily watching them do so, and it made her want to vomit. She crossed her arms and snapped, "Oi, Black."

Sirius turned to glare at her, raising an eyebrow. James ran a hand through his hair and pushed up his glasses.

"Wotcher, Evans!" He began, but Lily shot him a harsh glance. "Don't even bother. I need to talk to Sirius in private." She said, and James blinked, astounded by her snappish behaviour as per usual.

"I'm not going anywhere with you, you bloody wench." Sirius said offhandedly, and James gawked at him. Lily took a deep breath.

"Let's go somewhere private. This is something I do not want anyone else to hear. Not for your sake, believe me." Lily said calmly, and Sirius huffed. He stood up, and followed Lily out of the room. James watched them exiting, dumbfounded. Lily lead Sirius into a secluded classroom nearby, where they would not be overheard. Inside, Sirius got stared at rather hard by Lily. He stared back at her, confusion in his eyes.

"Do you know what this is about?"

"If it's about Alexandria, I swear I didn't mean to get her pregnant."

"What?!"

"Nothing. What were you saying?"

Lily squinted at him, and then cleared her throat. She was praying for patience so that she didn't end up with Sirius's blood on her hands.

"It's about Remus." She stated bluntly. Sirius's expression fell, and Lily felt warm inside. Sirius was uncomfortable, she could tell. She was proud of herself for making him squirm the way he was.

"I was making my way to the Greenhouse when I saw him in a corridor, looking poorly. I gave him a hug, of course. He was all teary and he told me about what happened." Lily explained. Sirius didn't say anything, and Lily sighed. Her voice was softer when she spoke again. "He's really hurt, Sirius. He doesn't know how to deal with what happened."

Still, Sirius kept his mouth shut. He didn't look up at her. He was staring down at the floorboards with red cheeks and a blank expression.

"He's convinced himself that you're ashamed. He's feeding himself negative thoughts. His self-esteem seems to have taken a hit, Sirius." Lily was desperate to pry a reaction from Sirius, but he was void of words. In the end he simply turned around and left the room. Lily's jaw dropped as the door slammed. _What a jerk! As if he just walked away from me like that! _She crossed her arms angrily, and hoped that her talk had gotten through to him. She hated seeing Remus without the usual sparkle in his eyes.

* * *

Remus was sitting by himself in the library, his mind preoccupied by the book he was reading. However, after ten minutes of reading silently, his mind was back to Lily and Sirius. He wondered if she had spoken with him yet, and whether or not it went well. He shook his head, dispelling the thoughts. Soon he was reading once again. He had finished chapter fifty-two when a shadow fell over him. He looked upwards, and was horrified to see Sirius standing by his table. His cheeks were pink, and he looked fidgety.

_Oh Merlin's beard, she must have spoken to him. And now he's here. He's going to be mad, I bet. Merlin, Merlin, Merlin, Merlin…_

"Moony? Can I sit?" Sirius asked breathily. Remus nodded slightly, watching Sirius closely as he sat down. "Good book?" Sirius asked in a shy tone. Sirius being shy wasn't something that was seen often. Remus shrugged. "It's alright."

"That's good. Uh, are you alright? Lily said you were feeling poorly." Sirius asked, and Remus felt his stomach churn.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." Remus replied instinctively. He knew he should have told the truth, but the truth was painful and it wasn't like Remus wasn't in enough pain as it was.

"So you're not upset or anything? About… things?"

"No." Remus mumbled, blushing. _She definitely spoke to him. Oh my Patronus, what's going through his head right now? I hope he doesn't hate me, he's one of my closest friends. I need him…_

"That's good. I uh, I have somewhere to be, I'm sure you understand." Sirius stood up, and then walked off out of the room. Remus stared blankly at the spot where Sirius's had been sitting. He slammed his book shut, and shoved it away from him. Remus got up to his feet and began marching out of the room. _Damn it! He didn't even want to bring it up! He must be disgusted! That idiot!_

* * *

Back in the Common Room, Remus ran into Lily at one of the tables with her friend Mary. She stood up when she saw him, and put a hand on his arm.

"Did Sirius find you?" She asked him curiously, and Remus nodded. His eyes watered up, and Lily shook her head. "Don't cry, Remus, please. What did he say?" Her eyes were sympathetic as Remus sniffled. He looked as though he was about to burst into hopeless sobs as he said, "He just asked me if I was feeling okay and then he pissed off! He's useless and I hate him!"

Lily's shoulders fell, and she gave his arm a brisk rub. "Don't worry about it, he walked out on me too."

"He must be so embarrassed." Remus muttered, wiping a stray tear from his cheek. James and Peter were watching from the couch. Although they couldn't hear what Lily and Remus were talking about, it was plain to see that Remus was very upset and that Lily was trying to comfort him.

"Like I said, there's something wrong with him if he is embarrassed." Lily reminded her friend, before giving him a quick hug. "You shouldn't worry about it too much. It'll blow over, most likely. In a few weeks, this will all be in the past and I'm sure you'll all be the best of friends again."

Remus cracked a smile as they parted from the hug. "You're right, Lily."

"Fantastic! Now, repeat after me. _He's an idiot, and he doesn't deserve my time_."

"He's an idiot, and he doesn't deserve my time." Remus exclaimed, laughing. Lily let out a light laugh, but she soon stopped and glared at something behind Remus.

"Speaking of the devil." She said rather loudly, and Remus turned around. Standing by the portrait was Sirius. For a brief moment his eyes met Remus's. He looked away fast, and walked over to Peter and James. Remus swallowed hard and then looked at Lily with pained eyes.

Sirius sat on the comfortable red couch, beside James. James nudged him in the ribs. "Hey, what'd Lily talk to you about?"

"Nothing." Sirius told James, before turning to look back at Lily and Remus. Remus was saying something, and thanks to his exceptional hearing, Sirius could hear the words which were being exchanged.

"He's an idiot, and he doesn't deserve my time, nor my tears, nor my pain."

Sirius felt himself go numb. _I'm an idiot?! I don't deserve his time, tears, nor pain?! _His mind was screaming at him, and he turned to the fire, glaring at it angrily. After the boiling rage wore off he felt himself being strangled by regret.

_I really am an idiot, aren't I? How could I be stupid enough to think that doing what I did wasn't going to come with a consequence… I guess I never thought that consequence would be losing Remus…_

"You okay, Pads?" James asked, frowning at Sirius. Sirius shrugged loosely. "I'm fine, I guess." He muttered, staring into the flames, the light dancing over his face and illuminating his perfect features. James wasn't convinced by his answer, but he knew not to pester Sirius about his problems, so he said no more.

Remus said a quick goodbye to Lily, and nervously walked over to the couch on which the Marauders sat. There was a spot on the end of the couch by Sirius. Remus was very tempted to return to the dorm to hide, but he knew he had to at least pretend he wasn't bothered by the situation he was in. He sat down slowly, making sure that he didn't touch Sirius. Sirius looked at him for a second, before his eyes returned to the fire.

"Moony, I know you're good friends with Lily, but do you mind not being so full on with her?" James asked suddenly. "I don't like the way you hug her and stuff." He added, as though that would justify his request. Remus swallowed hard. "Lily is my friend, and a good one, too. I don't see any of you idiots making an effort to cheer me up."

"Cheer you up?" Peter asked quietly, and Remus made an annoyed sound. "I should think it's obvious that I'm unhappy, and that I'm having a rough time at the moment. Clearly not, though." Remus stood up, scared that his anger would get the best of him. He stomped up to the dorm, leaving his surprised friends behind.

Remus sat on his bed, struggling to hold back tears. He decided to eat some chocolate, but as he savoured the taste he found that not even his favourite sweet made him feel better. The door slowly opened and James entered.

"Moony, mate, what's up with you?" James asked quietly, walking over and sitting by Remus on the bed. He draped an arm over his friend's small, shaking shoulders. Remus shook his head a little, "I'm just angry." He said, fiddling with a loose stich on his pants. James let out a sigh and gave Remus a squeeze. "I don't like it when you're angry, you know. Neither does Wormy, or Pads."

"Like that wanker Sirius would care about me!" Remus spat, yet he instantly wanted to take his words back. Saying things like that would surely only make the situation worse for him.

James's eyebrows shot up at Remus's accusation. Then he had a realisation; Remus and Sirius were acting particularly distant.

"Moony, serious question. Are you angry at Padfoot especially?"

Remus chewed the inside of his lip and sighed. "You could say that I am, yeah. But I'm just angry in general at the same time. Just don't tell Sirius that I'm mad at him, I don't want him to, uh… worry about it." Remus glared at James so that he knew he was serious, and James laughed lightly. He stood up on his long legs and had a brief stretch. He started walking towards the door, and on his way out he said, "Have fun eating your chocolate."

"Don't say anything to him." Remus warned James again. James smiled happily, "Don't worry about, I won't say a thing. I promise."

* * *

"Did you know that Moony's really pissy at you?" James asked as he sat down beside Sirius, back on the couch in the Common Room. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Of course I am."

"Why do you think that is?" James wondered out loud, twiddling his thumbs. Sirius shook his head, although he knew exactly why. But he couldn't tell James, because he didn't want anyone else to know about the events of the night before. He was staying loyal to keeping it a secret, unlike Remus, who had told Lily.

An idea popped into Sirius's head.

_If Remus was consulting Lily about this, maybe I could too. _

He looked around briefly and was glad to see Lily still sitting over the other side of the room, chatting with Mary. He got up off of the couch and walked over to her. She didn't look up at him, although Mary did. She smiled, "Was there something you needed, Sirius?" She asked kindly. Sirius nodded.

"Evans, I need to see you in private." Sirius said. Lily brushed hair from her face as she looked up at Sirius. She scowled, "Oh yeah? Last time I checked you were running away from me. Why the sudden attitude change?"

"Please, can we sit somewhere else? Perhaps that table over there, where there is nobody close enough to overhear. I think you know what this is about." Sirius's voice was laced with pleading. Lily let out a heavy sigh and stood up. Sirius followed her to the table, where they sat across from one another. Sirius could feel James's burning gaze from across the room.

"I'm trying to process what is happening right now." Sirius said quietly, staring down at the wooden table his hands were rested upon. Lily crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow in her classic sceptical look.

"Surely you're not this stupid. This is how I see it, Sirius… You are a horny, spontaneous idiot who doesn't think ahead. You got drunk, you got high, your hormones were off the charts and poor Remus, with his long lashes and small frame leading to an overall girly appearance, got caught up in your hurricane of arousal. You treated him like one of your whores, Sirius, and I find that to be despicable. Will you ever grow up?"

"One of my… whores? No, Evans, you've got it all wrong. You don't know me at all. Remus is my best friend. He means so much to me. You've got no idea of the things I've gone through for him. No idea whatsoever. I want to sort out what is happening between us because I don't think I could handle losing him. My life is more difficult than you could ever imagine. James, Peter, and Remus? They are my anchors. You know what I look forward to every single day? Being able to laugh with them, to forget who I am. I don't want to lose one of my anchors. Please, Evans. You have to help me. I'm begging you."

Lily had fallen into silence. The sincerity in Sirius's voice made her heart ache for him. As much as she disliked Sirius, she couldn't bear to see him like that. Especially since she knew she could help. Remus was a good friend to her, and he was upset about the situation too. She figured she only had one option.

"Alright, Sirius. I'll help you."


	4. Chapter 4- James Is A True Friend

_And my pen just won't run dry,_

_But my eyes they won't stop burning,_

_And yet you still have no reply._

_I guess that in a way, _

_It had to be like this._

_And I guess that in a way,_

_I'm glad it turned out like this._

* * *

After Lily agreed to help Sirius, he felt a wave of happiness over him. Later on, in the dorm, he suggested the lads should go to Hogsmeade and get some Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. James thought it was a fabulous idea, and he convinced Remus to join them. James was hoping the trip would lighten Remus's spirit. So the boys got rugged up in warm clothing and headed to the secret passage way that would lead them to Honeydukes cellar. Sirius and James linked arms as they walked along the page, smiling and chatting closely. Peter walked beside Remus, who was being uncharacteristically silent.

"Are you alight?" Peter asked quietly. Remus didn't reply; he was too busy glaring at the back of Sirius's head. Peter noticed this, and he frowned. "Can you tell me what he's done to make you so mad?"

"No." Remus said simply. Peter deliberated for a moment. "Did something happen the night we were in the Astronomy Tower? Because you've been cold to him since then." He asked.

Remus nearly fell over.

"It's got nothing to do with that night. Stop asking so many questions." Remus requested, and Peter shrugged.

When they finally reached Honeydukes, they snuck out under James's invisibility cloak. In the snowy street, they pulled it off. The four boys trudged through the snow, over to the Three Broomsticks. Sirius held the door open for everyone, including Remus. Remus was the only one who didn't thank him. They chose a table away from the general crowd, and ordered a Butterbeer each. James and Sirius began judging girls in the room.

"I'd give her an eight." Sirius said, looking at a pretty girl near the bar, with a Ravenclaw scarf on. James raised an eyebrow, "That's that loony girl, isn't it? The one always blabbing on about Nargles?"

"That's not what detracts from her attractiveness, though, is it?" Sirius said, and James shrugged, "That's what I'd detract for."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Well, have a guess what detracts it."

"I don't know. She's pretty enough, she's just weird." James said, unable to see what Sirius found wrong about her that wasn't her personality. Peter piped up, "She's flat as a board, isn't that right, Padfoot?"

"You're absolutely right. See, Prongsy? Wormy knows how to judge properly." Sirius tapped his mug of Butterbeer against Peter's.

"What about her?" James enquired, nodding towards a girl wiping down a table. She had light brown hair, tied up in a high ponytail. She was wearing a tight shirt, and the first few buttons were undone to expose a little cleavage. She was slightly pudgy, but very pretty.

"Isn't that Pomona?" Sirius asked, cocking his head to get a better look down her shirt. Peter nodded, resting his head on his hands and sighing. "Yeah, isn't she gorgeous?" He said dreamily. James made a noise of realisation and looked at Peter, "Oh, that's right, you've got a giant crush on her. I forgot about that."

"I'd give her a nine. She's got a hot body, but she's a bit nerdy for me." Sirius said, sipping his drink. James looked thoughtful. "Seven. She's pretty, but she's no Evans."

"Ten. Oh, look at her… She's just so beautiful. And I like that she's nerdy, y'know. She's clever, and I think that's a wonderful trait. I don't see the point of beauty, if there are not brains to go with it." Peter sighed again, watching Pomona as she picked up some empty glasses and carried them back to the bar.

Remus finished the last of his drink and continued listening to the lads scrutinizing girls.

"What about Bertha? That's Bertha, right? Remus?" James looked over to Remus, as he pointed discreetly at a girl who just walked in. Remus nodded. Bertha was Remus's girlfriend at one point, before they split up.

"What do you think of her then?" James asked Remus. Remus took a deep breath. "She's beautiful." He said quietly, before he raised his hand to call Pomona over. Pomona waltzed over and Peter began to blush.

"What can I do for you, Remus?" She asked with a bright smile. "Could I have a refill?"

"Sure you can. Do you want a refill too, Peter?" She asked the blushing blonde boy, who nodded and pushed his empty mug towards her. She took it, and gave him a smile. She took Remus's mug too, and then walked over to get them a refill. She came back and gave them each a warm smile before heading to serve someone else.

"Did you see that smile? I think I'm going to faint." Peter said, and Remus smiled at his friend. James rolled his eyes, "Anyway, back to Bertha. I think she's reasonably cute. But I wouldn't call her beautiful. What do you think, Peter?"

"She's a bit plain. I mean, she's pretty, but she looks dull." Peter said, and then he looked to Sirius. Sirius licked his lips, watching Bertha ordering a drink.

"I actually think Bertha's really attractive. Sometimes boring is good. I must say I have a weakness for light brown hair and freckles. There's something about it that just entices me, you know what I mean? Not to mention she has a really nice rack."

Remus took a mouthful of his drink, deep in thought over Sirius's statement.

_A weakness for light brown hair and freckles. _

* * *

When Monday morning came around, Lily began to think of when she would talk to Remus again. She decided she would leave it for Prefect duty that night, as they would be totally alone together. She got dressed rather slowly that morning, and waited for her friends Mary and Marlene to get ready. As they walked to their first class, Marlene tripped over her own feet trying to check out Sirius. It was no secret that Marlene yearned for Sirius more than any other boy in the entire school. She had been trying to hook up with him for months, but it was as though she didn't exist to him.

Mary helped her up off of the ground. "Clumsy! That'll teach you for being a pervert." She said with a cheeky wink. Marlene scoffed as she dusted herself off. Lily tapped her foot against the ground impatiently. "Come on, come on. We're going to be late."

"Hey, wait for me!" Came a voice behind them. Alice Prewitt ran to them, puffing. Alice was a Gryffindor girl in Fifth Year, and she was in the process of tuning Frank Longbottom.

The four girls were close friends, although Lily mainly hung out with Mary. Marlene and Alice were often seen together. They began walking to class again, chatting about the upcoming classes and tests.

As the day went by and the Marauders went to their classes, Remus sat by Peter and not James or Sirius. Remus had discovered that James had told Sirius that Remus was mad with him against his wishes, which made Remus upset with James too. Remus felt as though Lily and Peter were his only true friends, and that hurt him deeply.

The last class of the day was History of Magic. However the class was late to begin because James and Sirius had caused a major hold-up in the Great Hall with some animation charms and spiny plants from the Green House. When the class finally began, Remus decided to completely blow-off his fellow Marauders including Peter, to sit by Lily. She welcomed him with a bright smile. "How are you feeling? Better, I hope." She said kindly as she sat down. He shook his head.

"I'm not feeling all too good." Remus mumbled, staring across the room at Sirius, who was carving something into his desk with his sharp quill. Remus sighed, and then spread his parchment before him. He wrote the date at the top of the page. Lily reached over and gently rubbed Remus's shoulder. "Just forget about him. Concentrate on your work, alright?"

"I wish I could." Remus grumbled, writing _Wars of the Goblin World_ at the top of the page, right underneath the date.

Professor Binns floated around the front of the classroom, drawling on in his boring voice. Remus was unable to concentrate on him. He also had difficulty taking notes. The whole class had fallen into silence, save for the sound of quill scratching against parchment and the occasional whisper.

The quiet was broken by a loud crashing sound, and then the sound of James, Peter and Sirius's laughter rang out. Remus looked up to see James on the ground with his books, and his chair toppled over. Peter was covering his mouth with a hand, making a small effort to try and quieten his laughter. On the other hand, Sirius was laughing so hard his face had gone bright red. He even began to snort as he clutched his gut, doubling over with laughter.

"You twat!" He choked out between uncontrollable guffaws. James grinned a sheepish grin, standing up and running a hand through his hair. He met the harsh eyes of Professor Binns.

"Sorry." He said, picking up his books and sitting down.

"What an idiot." Lily said loudly enough for James to hear. James flushed red, all the way up to his hairline. He put his head on his hands, obviously sulking. Sirius finally managed to stop laughing, and he rested his head on his desk, atop of his folded arms. Professor Binns began to speak again.

Lily looked over at Remus's sheet of parchment, and smirked. "Nice work output." She whispered. Remus smiled in return, whispering, "Buzz off. I can't concentrate. Not just because of that wanker. I just feel bad today."

Lily laughed lightly, and Binns gave her a reprimanding look. Remus could feel James's hard eyes on him. The class progressed slowly as usual, and James joined Sirius in taking a nap. Even Remus felt as though he was going to drift off. All he wanted to do after class was sleep until morning, but he knew he had Prefect duty; which he was _not_ looking forward to in the slightest.

* * *

As Professor Binn's wrapped up his speech, Remus shoved his books into his bag and stood up, slinging it over his shoulder. He was headed to the library to return a few books and maybe borrow out some more when he ran into a group of Slytherin's. He spotted Regulus Black and Severus Snape, and knew he was in for a good harassing. Remus was frequently picked on by that particular group of Slytherin's, especially when he was alone.

"Oi, Lupin! Ever heard of sunlight? Might do you a bit of good!" Snape called out. Remus continued walking past them, but Regulus lashed out and grabbed front of Remus's shirt, pulling Remus face to face with him.

"Don't ignore us, you little freak." Regulus hissed, and Remus stayed quiet. Regulus must have been feeling generous that day, because he simply pushed Remus away into a wall and said, "I don't even feel like dealing with trash like you today. Get out of my sight, you filthy little half-blood."

Remus stood up, straightened his shirt, and hurried off with quickened steps. When he reached the library, he stole away at the end of an aisle. He sat down on the ground and rubbed his arm where he had smashed against the wall. His mood had taken a hard drop, and he decided he didn't want to even bother borrowing out new books, or returning the books he had borrowed back to their proper places. He slipped his borrowed out books into the shelf by his head and then delved into his bag for his personal copy of _Hairy Snout, Human Heart_. He knew most of the book by heart, but he couldn't stop re-reading it. It seemed to describe everything he was perfectly, and it gave him reassurance.

Remus spent hours sitting and reading, lost in the book, the tales of pain and struggle that made his chest ache from holding back sobs. It was when he accidently let a sob escape that he looked up from his book to check if anyone had heard. He realised he was alone, and then glanced out of the window. It was dark outside, and he realised he must have been late for dinner. He stuffed his book into his bag and stood up, throwing his bag over his shoulder. He started walking to the Great Hall with little enthusiasm. He was glad he didn't see the Slytherin's again. He didn't think he could deal with anything else that night. He already felt like curling up in a ball somewhere, falling asleep, and never waking up again.

He stepped into the Great Hall and searched for his friends. He felt a horrible feeling surge through him as he spotted Sirius, kissing some Hufflepuff girls neck. Remus felt his knees weaken, but he composed himself and walked over, past Sirius and the girl, to sit beside Lily. "Disgusting, isn't it?" Lily muttered angrily, and Remus knew she was talking about Sirius and the girl. Remus remained silent, and Lily reached down for his hand. She gave it a gentle squeeze. She let his hand go and then began to pile food on his plate.

"Come on, Remus. You have to eat now; otherwise you'll be hungry during Prefect duty."

"I don't want to do Prefect duty. Can't you get someone else to?" Remus groaned, and Lily squinted at him.

"Remus there are _two_ Gryffindor Prefects. You and I. There's nobody else I can do it with, and I sure as hell am not doing it alone. You'll be fine, as long as you _eat_."

Remus made an irritated noise. "Alright, I'll do it. You're so pushy."

Lily playfully slapped his sore arm, and Remus did his best not to wince. He ate a spoonful of mashed potato. He was startled when he felt an arm on his shoulder. He looked up to see James smiling at him.

"You alright, Moony?" James asked in a friendly tone. Remus shrugged, "Reasonably so. Why do you ask?"

"You hate me, don't you?" James asked suddenly, seemingly ignoring Remus's question. Remus shrugged again.

"It's not that I _hate_ you, Prongs. I'm just annoyed that you went and told Sirius that I was upset with him." Remus said quietly. He glanced over to see Sirius and the girl kissing, and he felt his stomach churn. He did, however, notice that it wasn't the same gentle kissing that he had received. It was the ardent kissing Sirius usually went for.

"You're being a bit of a dick about this, you know." James said calmly, and Remus's eyes widened. Lily shot James an angry glare.

"I have some things to tell you, Moony. We should step outside." James said, urgency in his voice. Remus sighed, and then stood up to follow James out of the Great Hall. Once they were alone, James began to speak.

"Pads and I are thick as thieves, we tell each other everything. So yes, I told him that you were mad at him, but do you want to know what he's told me?"

Remus blinked, and then nodded a little.

"He's distraught, Moony. He won't say exactly why, but he's said it's got something to do with you. He said once that he needed to think things through before he went and did them, but I don't know what that means. To be honest I don't really want to know what's going on between you too, but all I can guess is that you're going through a tough time right now, your anger is built up, and you're taking it out on Sirius. But listen, Moony, and think. You are completely aware of how much his friends mean to him, I know you are. He said it once, that he loved us all from the depths of his testicles. Even you. You mean so much to him," James paused as he voice cracked and his eyes watered. Remus felt an ache in his chest again, as he held back sobs. James's breath began to speed up. Remus could tell James was having trouble dealing with the stress of his friends fighting, and him being in the dark about it all. James was particularly susceptible to panic attacks, so Remus knew he had to get James to calm down a little before he would keep talking.

"Calm your breathing." Remus said softly. James nodded, trying to slow his breathing down. Once he had calmed himself, he continued.

"It was Pads who suggested that we became Animagi, because he hated the thought of you alone and in so much pain, without us. Being raised how he was, who he is right now has a lot to do with me, Peter, and _you_. I mean come on, you got him into the habit of studying, and that's got to count for something, right?" James threw his arms up in the air to emphasise his words.

Remus slowly shook his head. "You just don't understand." He breathed. James put a hand on each of Remus's shoulders and looked him dead in the eyes.

"Then help me. Help me understand all of this, Moony. Because I want to help you two get past this." James whispered, his face full of emotion. He was desperate to get the Marauders together again, like they were the week before. Remus hesitated, but he knew he needed the help and that James didn't need the stress.

"You have to promise not to say anything. It's imperative that you keep your big mouth shut about this." Remus said seriously, and James nodded.

Remus took a deep breath, readying himself to tell James everything.

"You remember Friday night? Sirius and I didn't' go straight back to the dorm."

"I thought he took too long to get back. So where did you go?" James asked.

"We stopped in a hallway. And we kissed."

James stared, and the raised an eyebrow. "You what?"

"We kissed." Remus repeated, his cheeks turning furiously red. James gawked as he processed Remus's words.

"You've got to be pulling my leg!" James proclaimed, and Remus shook his head rather solemnly. "No, I'm not. That's why I've not been hanging around you guys. I don't want to embarrass him. I think it's what's best…"

"_Embarrass_- Fucking hell, Moony! It's not what's best at all! All Pads wants is to speak to you again, you numpty." James told Remus with a laugh. Remus began to chew the inside of his lip, deep in thought. After a few moments, James put his hands in his pockets.

"Let's head back into the Great Hall. I'm still starving." He said, and Remus followed silently. As he sat back down beside Lily, he let out a long sigh.

"Did he speak to you about Sirius?" She asked curiously, and Remus nodded. Lily smiled, knowing that meant she wouldn't have to talk about the situation later that night. She started to eat again, as Remus watched James sit down. James looked at Sirius, who was pressing kisses to the girl's neck. Since he had a better understanding of the situation, he knew that Remus would be hurting over seeing Sirius doing that. So James picked up a piece of gravy covered chicken and tossed it at Sirius. It smacked him in the shoulder with a sloppy nose. Sirius pulled back from the girl and brushed the chicken off of his shoulder. He gave James a confused look, "What was that for?"

"She's a Hufflepuff, have some self-respect, mate." James said, before he looked at the girl. "And _you_, this is a dinner table. It's for eating food, not faces. You know what else this is? The Gryffindor table. So how about you scoot your pretty little butt that way and _find_ yourself the Hufflepuff table?" James hissed, and Remus held back laughter. James sent Remus a friendly grin, and Remus smiled back. The Hufflepuff girl made an angry sound and grudgingly left the Gryffindor table. Sirius squinted suspiciously at James, before he began to eat.

Remus was glad he had made things right with James.


	5. Chapter 5- The Marauders Are Back

_So count your money,_

_I'll count my friends._

_We'll see who's richer in the end._

* * *

Prefect duty started at nine that night, so Remus only had an hour of spare time on his hands. He decided to spend that time in the Common Room, reading a book on Botany, because he figured his grades in Herbology weren't quite high enough for his liking. He found himself a spare table in the corner and sat down, opening his book. It was only five minutes of reading before his attention was stolen away from the yellowing and slightly worn in pages.

The sweet, melodic sounds of a guitar filled the room and some girls could be heard squeaking in delight. Remus looked up to see Sirius strumming on a guitar, his concentrated face masked with one of nonchalance although Remus saw right through it. Sirius was known to be talented at many things, and music was one of them. Sirius proved Remus right as he continued strumming away to his heart's content. He looked as though he was enjoying himself, and the attention he was getting.

He then began to sing.

Girls _actually_ screamed.

Remus had heard Sirius singing before, of course, but he seemed better than usual. His voice seemed to flow perfectly, and it sounded clear and full. Remus shook his head vigorously, dispelling the thoughts. He tried to get back to reading, but by that point he was far too distracted by Sirius.

_If Hogwarts had a music class, I think that Sirius would ace it. Perhaps he should join the choir. No, he'd never do something as poncy as that. He'd be in a rock band, though. _Remus mused, as Sirius finished his lonely sounding ballad with the closing line of, "You may tire of me as our December sun is setting, 'cause I'm not who I used to be…"

The girls clapped loudly, fawning over Sirius as he smiled and graciously accepted their applaud. James smiled at him from nearby, leaning over the back of the couch to hear him sing. "Well done, mate. You've once again managed to woo a crowd of ladies in a matter of minutes. You really are a great big ball of sex, aren't you?"

The comment made Remus scoff. He wanted to tell James to stop fuelling Sirius's ego. Remus figured he still had another thirty-odd minutes spare, and so he took his book and left for the library, where he hoped he would find Lily. Naturally, he found her sitting on a table with Severus Snape. Remus faltered at the sight of the greasy haired lad, but after a second he walked over to his friend. He tried to ignore the nasty look Snape gave him as he sat by Lily.

"Hey there, Remus. How's the situation?" She asked kindly, beaming at Remus. Remus sighed nasally.

"He's got his guitar out, and girls are falling at his feet. He's such a prat." Remus muttered, and Lily laughed lightly. "That's him for you, though. I don't think he can really help it. But don't worry too much about it. We've got Prefect duty really soon, so hopefully nabbing some cheeky little first years will cheer you up." Lily said, resting her head against his shoulder for a comforting moment. Remus smiled at her, and Snape scowled.

Ten minutes passed before Lily and Remus left Snape on his own. They began their rounds, and Remus was glad to be alone with Lily. Lily was a truly good person to him, and that was something he felt he really needed as of late.

"You've got to talk to him eventually." Lily said bluntly as they strolled down the seventh floor corridor. Remus shook his head, "I'd rather not."

"Well, how else are things going to go back to how they were? After we're done with our rounds, if you're not too tired and if Black's not already sleeping, then I demand you talk to him."

"But-"

"Remus, please, I implore you." Lily had stopped walking, and she turned to her sorrowful friend. Her voice was laced with frustration. "You two _can't_ carry on this way, it's ridiculous. You were the best of friends, you can't deny that. I think it's sad that you two are fighting this way because of a simple kiss."

Remus gave an exasperated sigh and said, "You're like James, you just don't understand."

Lily screwed up her face at being compared to James. Remus looked down at his feet. When he spoke again, his voice was quieter.

"You don't know what it's like to have Sirius pressed against you the way _I_ did. To feel those fiery lips against yours. Your blood pooling in all the right places, his tongue in your mouth. His hands touching you in places that you didn't think would feel so good… and then waking up, remembering it all… that it was _him_ that had made me feel so amazing and dizzy. It's _not_ easy to process. To make matters worse, in the Common Room while he was playing his guitar, I got this weird feeling…"

Lily was silent as she cocked her head to the side, trying to decipher what he was saying to her. Remus swallowed hard.

"I think I actually _fancy him_." Remus said.

"You can't just become gay after one kiss, Remus." Lily said pointedly, eyeing him with doubt. Remus grunted, running his hands through his light hair in an act of frustration.

"No, no, no, I'm not an idiot. I know that. I think I liked boys before then, though. That's one of the reasons I broke up with Bertha. I mean, she's beautiful, but I was looking at _boys_ more than I was looking at _her_, and I guess I knew, but I didn't tell anyone, not even her. I didn't feel the way I used to. But Sirius made me feel better than Bertha ever made me feel, and all he did was kiss me." Remus explained to a wide-eyed Lily. She was quiet for a while, before she said, "We should keep walking."

They continued down the hallway, and around the corner. Lily piped up once more, "Listen, Remus. About James… Can you maybe tell me what he says about me? Just out of curiosity."

Remus shrugged, "I don't know, he says a lot. He's said that he really wants you to notice him. That he doesn't feel the same about you as he has about other attractive girls. He's said that he doesn't feel _arousal_ looking at you. He just wants to hold your hand, kiss your cheek, hold you close, call you his own, all those soppy things. He wants you to feel the same about him, or at least acknowledge how he feels. It's kind of sad, actually."

Lily seemed to deliberate Remus's words, but she had no reply.

* * *

Remus pulled the blanket up to his chin, closing his eyes. However, on the brink of sleep, he remembered Lily's request. He sat up and looked over to Sirius's bed. It was empty, so he got out of his bed and padded down the stairs into the Common Room. He spotted Sirius on the couch- Remus figured he must have missed him on his way up to the dorm. He gingerly walked over, and Sirius's grey eyes snapped onto him.

"H-hey there, Padfoot." Remus said shakily.

"Moony." Sirius replied in greeting. He then patted the spot on the red couch beside him. Remus sat down and looked into the flames. The heat against his face felt nice.

"I suppose you want to talk about what happened." Sirius said quietly, and Remus gave a single, curt not. Sirius half turned towards Remus and licked his lips. Remus was glad that the red colour from the fire would hide his blush.

"Words do not exist that express how sorry I am, Moony. I'm sorry I pressured you into drinking, and smoking, and I'm especially sorry that I came onto you."  
"It was an accident, or a mistake?" Remus guessed, and he was surprised to see Sirius shake his head.

"No. The only reason I regret it for, is because of what's happened to our friendship."

Remus's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"Are you sure you're as smart as you think you are? I really, _really_ wanted to kiss you. I was curious, I admit it. I wanted to know what it felt like to kiss you, I wanted to know if you tasted like chocolate or sugar quills, and I wanted to know if you were good. So when I saw my chance, I kissed you, and I'm sorry. But you were good, if that's any consolation."

Remus was a vibrant red colour by that point. He could hardly believe his ears. He couldn't find anything to say, and so Sirius spoke again.

"It was a bit of a silly thing to do. But what do you say, Moony? Friends?" He asked with a smile. He extended his hand towards Remus, who shook it vigorously and repeated, "Friends."

"As our dear Prongs would say; _until the very end_." Sirius finished, and the two boys found themselves beaming and laughing. They sat for hours afterwards, talking about nothing in particular.

That night, Remus slept uncommonly well.

* * *

Lily was about to sit down at a desk during Potions the next morning, when she was suddenly tackled into a tight hug. She recognised the chocolate smell of Remus, and she hugged him just as tightly in return.

"I did what you told me, Lily! I spoke to him! And we're friends again!" Remus exclaimed, pulling away, holding Lily at arm's length. Lily beamed at him, "That's brilliant!" She said, and her grin was Cheshire. She pulled him in for another hug, muttering into his neck. "I'm so happy for you, Remus."

Remus laughed happily, but he stopped laughing when he heard a throat being cleared. He pulled away to see Snape staring at him. He blanched, and then said a quick goodbye. Lily greeted Snape as Remus sat down beside Peter.

"Why'd you run off from Snivellus like that? He's not scary." Peter said, crossing his arms and glaring at Snape from across the room. Remus shook his head, dismissing Peter's question. James soon entered the room. He waved happily at Remus, a bright smile on his face. Remus smiled back, waving in return. He had heard that Remus and Sirius were friends again, and he was unbelievably happy about it.

Peter managed to answer quite a few questions, and earned Gryffindor 20 points. Slughorn made it obvious that he was impressed with Peter's improved studying efforts and participation in class. The lesson went by a lot slower than Remus would have liked. All he wanted to do was see Sirius, but that twat hadn't chosen to take Potions. When the class finally ended, Remus slung his bag over his shoulder and left for the tree the Marauders always sat under during lunch and recess.

However, on his way through the cloister, he was cut off by Snape.

"You better stop what you're doing, you little freak." He said coldly, and Remus blinked. "I'm not doing anything-"

"Don't talk back to me. I've seen you around her. You better get your hands off of Lily, or I'll fucking break your fingers. She doesn't like you. And while we're on the subject, she doesn't like that wanker, Potter, either." Snape snarled rather viciously. He took a step towards Remus threateningly, but there was a flash of light. A cut appeared on Snape's cheek. Remus looked to where the flash had come from to see Sirius, his wand held out before him. Behind him was James, his own wand pointed at Snape. Peter wasn't with them.

"You better back off, Snivellus." Sirius said calmly. Snape shot Remus a filthy look, before he marched away with a flourish of his robe.

"Moony, are you okay?" James asked, walking over. Sirius followed closely behind him. Remus nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." He said quietly. Sirius shook his head. "Snivelly better watch himself. Nobody messes with my friends." He gave Remus a small smile, and Remus swallowed hard. _Oh wow, that smile… _

The three boys walked together out of the cloister, to the tree under which they enjoyed sitting. It was on top of a small slope, overlooking a portion the grounds. From there they could see a lot of things going on around the yard. There was also a good view of the pier that lead into the Black Lake, on which Lily sat with her friends.

They sat down under their tree and Remus felt his stomach knotting up when Sirius sat close beside him; close enough for their shoulders to touch. Remus was beyond glad that he could talk to Sirius again, even though each glance from the black haired boy made Remus turn to jelly. He was having a surprisingly easy time coming to terms with those feelings for the time being, however.

"Look at Lily…" James mumbled, his eyes looking down at the lake, by which Lily and her friends sat. Lily was laughing with Mary and it seemed to be in slow motion for James, her radiant smile lighting up the space around her.

"Oh, Merlin's beard, just look at her. She's the most beautiful girl on the face of the earth. Snivellus is so lucky to be able to spend so much time with her. And so are you, Remus. How do you do it?" James turned to look accusingly at Remus. Remus smiled, "By not bullying Snape as much as you do, and-"

"Being a picture perfect prefect?" Sirius cut in, smirking. Remus rolled his amber eyes. "Yes, well spotted. Since I am a Prefect, I spend a lot of time with her."

James made a deliberating noise, squinting at his werewolf friend. Remus could tell quite easily that James was jealous of how close he was to Lily. Remus honestly didn't care about that, however, because it was only a minor issue compared to the Sirius situation. After recess finished, the boys headed to History of Magic. Remus sat behind Lily, instead of beside her or with the lads. He preferred to be alone for this class, so that he might actually get some work done. He was surprised when Sirius walked over and sat by him, flashing him a smile.

Professor Binns was halfway through another one of his painfully dull lectures when Sirius leaned over and whispered in Remus's ear, his hot breath sending shivers down Remus's spine, "Are you getting this down?"

"Yeah, would you like a copy of the notes?" Remus whispered back, and Sirius nodded. He then rested his head on his arms, folded out before him on the desk. He closed his eyes, and Remus's gaze lingered on Sirius's sleepy face for a few seconds. Somehow he managed to drag his eyes back to his parchment and continue writing in silence, as Professor Binns drawled on dully.

When the class finished, Remus disappeared to the library before Sirius or anyone else could follow him. He needed time to himself. So James, Sirius, and Peter headed over to their tree again and sat down beneath it, sheltered from the sunlight by the thick leaves. They were calmly talking about the recently passed History of Magic class when Lily waltzed over, nearly sending the unsuspecting James into cardiac arrest.

"Hey, Evans!" He proclaimed, running a hand through his black hair. Lily groaned quietly, remembering why she disliked him so much. _He's such an egotistic idiot._

"Potter, come talk with me over here." She said, pointing over her shoulder. James nodded vigorously, standing up fast enough to make his head spin. He followed her away from his friends, and once they were alone she began to speak.

"Alright, Potter. As you know, I'm really close to Remus. We talk a lot and certain topics are brought up, like what you might say about me to your friends."

James flushed red. Lily took a deep breath, and she looked down at her feet. "So I was just wondering if there was something you'd like to ask me, about Hogsmeade this weekend?"

James's jaw dropped. He had no reply, his voice had abandoned him. He simply gawked at her with wide, surprised eyes. Lily laughed.

"Come on, Potter. You've managed to ask me every other time." She prompted, brushing hair from her face and smiling at him. James's brain melted even further, but he shook himself back into reality.

"Evans, would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?" He asked with a shaking, small voice. Lily gave a quick nod. "Alright then, Potter. I will." She said, before she turned and sashayed away, leaving James with jelly legs. He spun around and screamed silently, running back over to Sirius and Peter. He fell overdramatically against the tree, sliding down and hugging himself with excitement.

"Guess who I'm taking to Hogsmeade this weekend?!" He asked, and Sirius's eyebrows shot up. Peter beamed, "That's fantastic, Prongs! If only I had_ your _luck!" Sirius laughed, "I don't believe it, this is madness! The world must be coming to a bloody end!"

* * *

Herbology was the final class of the day. The four lads walked down to the Greenhouse, all talking about James's upcoming date (Although Sirius said it was probably out of pity or something and not a real date). James was buzzing with excitement and it felt that nothing could ruin his mood that day. Even when, halfway through class, his finger was chomped on by a venomous tentacular, sending him to the Hospital Wing. Sirius volunteered to accompany James there, because he felt he needed to talk to James alone.

"It's good that you and Moony have reconciled. We're like a little family again." James said with a cheery yet shaking voice, as he tried not to look at the bloody mess that was his finger. Sirius nodded in agreement. "I can't believe he thought it was a mistake, though." He casually slipped out. James raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that I genuinely wanted to kiss him." Sirius said, and James stopped walking abruptly to gawk at Sirius. "You actually wanted to kiss Moony?!" He asked rather loudly. Sirius also stopped walking, and he shrugged nonchalantly. "Yeah. Is there a problem?"

"No, no… I mean… He's your best friend. And- I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this- but I'm pretty sure he's kind of a bloke. I have nothing against you if that's where you swing, but I'm just saying that wanting to kiss a, uh, dorky little guy like Remus is a little out of character for you." James said awkwardly. Sirius bit his lip in deliberation, before he shook his head. "I know, but I suppose I'm just getting bored of girls. They're all the same, y'know? They've got ginormous tits and mouths, but tiny brains and personalities. Compare that to Moony, and you've got someone with no tits, a witty and quick thinking mouth, a massive brain, and one of the most beautiful personalities I've ever had the joy to get to know. Not to mention he's adorable. I don't really understand my feelings entirely at the moment, though, Prongs. It's confusing, and difficult, especially when Remus is certainly not going to be the kind of guy to like _me_, let alone anyone. He's always saying how he broke up with Bertha because he didn't want to hurt her or burden her… God, your finger looks like it's in need of urgent attention. We'd better head off."

As they continued on, James thought about all that Sirius had said, trying to put it all together. He simply couldn't believe that a panty-dropper like Sirius could fancy someone like Remus.

* * *

_Everything is okay now._

Remus wrote in his diary, starting a new page. He was alone in the dormitory, and he was nibbling on some chocolate. He was at peace with Sirius and therefore he could be at peace with himself. All was quiet for a while, as he sniffled from what he expected was an impending cold, whilst enjoying the wonderful taste of expensive Honeydukes chocolate. That quiet was shattered when the door opened, and none other than Lily Evans skipped into the room.

"Lily- This is the boy's dorm!" Remus yelped, leaping across his bed to grab a pair of his underwear, stuffing them into his trunk. Lily giggled as she waltzed over. "Nice panties." She said, and Remus flushed red. Lily's eyes rested on his diary, and Remus slammed it shut before she could read what he had written. "Don't even think about it." He said, and Lily grinned devilishly as she sat down across from Remus.

"I didn't think writing in a diary wouldn't be something you would do."

"Be quiet, you." Remus said with a light laugh. Lily smiled brightly, before she asked how Remus was, which seemed to be something that happened a lot. Remus nodded, "I'm good. Really good." He told her, and she smiled as silence fell between them. That was one thing that Remus liked about their friendship. They didn't really have to talk. They could just sit together and that was enough to be happy. So they sat, and Lily began to twirl her wand in her fingers whilst Remus grabbed himself a book.

Ten minutes passed before James entered the room, with a bandage wrapped around his finger. He paused when he saw Lily and Remus, sitting on the bed together. But he knew Remus wouldn't try anything with Lily, and so he smiled.

"Wotcher, Evans." He said, walking over. She smiled, and stood up. "Hello, Potter." She greeted him, and there was a moment of awkward silence before she turned to Remus.  
"See you, Remus." She said, and then looked back at James. She smiled once more at him, causing a flush of pink to dance across his cheeks. As she left the room, James sighed. He sat down on his bed and said to Remus, "Isn't she the most beautiful girl you've ever seen? Wait- Don't answer that."

Remus laughed.

"You're a madman. I think I'm looking forward to the weekend as much as you are."

"It's only Tuesday, Moony." James said, looking at Remus with a cheeky simper. Remus shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. "I could really go for some Butterbeer, and I'm almost out of chocolate."

"Well I don't feel like sneaking off anywhere today." James replied as Remus placed a charm on his diary and placed it gently back in his drawer. James cocked his head and asked with curiosity in his voice, "What do you write in there?"

"That, my dear Prongs, is none of your damned business." Remus said, and James rolled his eyes in reply before turning his gaze to the window. It was getting dark outside. Sirius and Peter were in the Great Hall having dinner. James, however, had eaten in the Hospital Wing, and Remus wasn't feeling hungry at all. That meant there was really one thing left to do. They lay down in their respective beds, pulled the sheets up to their chins, and closed their eyes.


	6. Chapter 6-Drama! Drama everywhere!

_Dry your eyes and stick them on ice_  
_Give your chest a rest it's been cold your whole life_  
_I'll have you know, the tables are about to turn_  
_And you're going to get what what what you deserve_

* * *

The morning brought torrential downpours of rain, which turned the snow sloppy and the grounds into swamps. The day would be wet and cold, and Remus wished he hadn't woken up at all. His elated feelings from the day before had all but disappeared, leaving him feeling just as dreary as the weather outside.

He managed to drag himself out of bed, and start to change into his uniform. As he finished doing up the last button on his crisp shirt, his eyes moved to Sirius's bed. The black haired lad was sprawled out like a starfish; his blankets bundled at the end of the bed, where he had evidently kicked them during the night.

Remus absentmindedly stepped closer, to see if he could get a look at Sirius's sleeping face. His mouth was wide open, and he had drool all over his chin and pillow.

_What a twat._

Remus sighed and pulled on his sweater and a robe. He straightened his tie, and then wrapped his Gryffindor scarf around his neck. He then headed into the Common Room to spend some time warming up in front of the fire before he headed to breakfast. Lily was sitting on the red couch, hands outstretched towards the fire.

"You're up early." He stated quietly as he moved to sit beside her. She looked at him with smiling eyes. "I'm normally up at this time, it's just a question of whether or not I could be bothered getting out of bed. How are you?"

"I'm alright. Although the rain is making me… I don't know. It's just cold and grey and horrible." Remus replied, pushing his legs towards the fire in an attempt to bring feeling back into his cold feet. Lily nodded in agreement, and Remus turned to her suddenly.

"What's this I hear about you and James going to Hogsmeade together?" He asked, "Because James talks in his sleep."

Lily laughed, trying to hide a slight blush. "Oh, that. I asked him. I just thought… He can't be that bad of a guy, and it's not like I'm planning on dating him or anything. I just don't really know him, y'know?" Lily explained, and Remus beamed. "That's fantastic; he must be so excited-"

Remus's sentence was cut off as he felt a sharp pain in his leg muscle. With that pain came sudden realisation as to what night it was.

_Full moon._

Lily was eyeing him off cautiously as he winced. She had wanted to ask him something for a while but she hadn't gotten around to it; she was too scared. But the past few days had brought her closer to Remus than ever before, and they were alone, so she supposed then was the right time to ask her question.

"Remus, you know I'm not an idiot, and that you can trust me, right?" Lily began quietly, and Remus watched her with curious and worried eyes. She leaned in a little, and whispered, "I have a very serious, um, accusation, I suppose…. You get aches on the days of the full moon. On our Prefect nights that fall in line with the full moon, you're replaced by someone else, because you've just _disappeared_…"

She then reached up, her hand shaking, and she brushed a tentative finger over the largest scar on Remus's face. Remus had tensed in horror, knowing there was no way around it.

_She knows. She must know. But she isn't scared. She should be screaming, she should be running away…_

"These scars. They weren't a Muggle accident. You lied. Remus, you don't have to hide from me."

Remus had hardly noticed he was shaking, until he started to speak with a hitching, quivering voice. "I- I don't- Lily, please don't hate me…" A tear slipped down his cheek, and Lily shook her head. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close.

"Never." She whispered, and Remus let out a strangled sob.

"Everything is so painful, all the time. I just feel like there is nothing else to me but pain sometimes. All that I am is suffering. Can't do anything right. I'm just putting everyone in danger…"

Lily held him tighter, feeling her own eyes tear up at the sound of Remus's thick, sorrowful voice. She said nothing in reply, instead simply allowing Remus to sob into her shoulder.

"Lily? Remus? What's going on?" Said the tired voice of James, from the top of the stairs that lead to the Marauders dorm. Remus pulled back from Lily, lest James should get the wrong idea. James half stumbled down the stairs, still in his red and yellow pyjamas. Remus wiped tears from his face, and Lily sniffled. James's eyes softened.

"What's wrong, Moony?" He asked gently. Remus looked from Lily, to James. The room was quiet, and James walked over to the two. He sat on the couch arm, rubbing a hand over Remus's back in a comforting motion.

"She knows." Remus breathed, and James took a moment to register what he had been told. His eyes then widened, and he swore quietly. "Look, Lily, you can't say anything, not a single word! I've worked so hard to keep him here, to keep him safe. He's my best friend, and the amount of times I've literally risked my life for him… You would be surprised. So please, promise me that you won't say anything, Lily, please, _please_-"

"I promise." Lily interrupted James in a small voice. She gave him a sincere smile. James blushed, realising that he had carried on a bit. But every word he had spoken was true. "Alright then, that's good." James said rather awkwardly. He then looked down at his pyjamas.

"Uh, I'm going to go change now." He said, and then turned and left hurriedly. Remus crossed his arms nervously and muttered, "He's an idiot."

"He's a very protective idiot. I think you're lucky to have someone willing to risk their life for you." Lily said with a smile. Remus stood up, sighing. "We ought to go eat."

* * *

"Good morning, you two." Sirius said with a smile as Remus and Lily walked over. James was already there, stuffing spoonfuls of scrambled eggs into his mouth.

"Morning." Remus said simply, sitting beside Sirius. Lily sat down by Remus, and the two began piling their plates with food. As Remus bit into his toast, he listened to Sirius talking with James. He didn't really take note of what Sirius was saying, he just listened to the sound of his voice. Smooth, low, and his laugh was barky and loud.

After breakfast, the Marauders headed to Herbology. Remus partnered with James, oddly. Sirius didn't want to partner with Peter, because he actually wanted to pass Herbology. A girl nearly threw herself at Sirius as a volunteer to be his partner. That left Peter alone. He stood awkwardly, looking around for a partner, but everyone seemed to be taken. Just as he started to feel sad about it, he received a gentle tap on the shoulder. He turned to see a beautiful girl, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. It was Pomona.

"Peter, do you want to be my partner?"

Peter was momentarily frozen, staring wide-eyed at Pomona. Eventually he managed to nod at her, and she grinned brightly. "Wonderful!" She said cheerily, just before the teacher walked into the greenhouse and the class began.

The class passed by slowly. This was good for Peter, but bad for Remus, as he was still having bad pains all throughout his body.

* * *

Lunch couldn't have gone worse for Lily. She was laughing with Snape as she headed through the grounds to where she usually sat. Snape parted ways with her to see his other friends, and Lily continued on alone to sit with Mary and Marlene. She didn't make it there before she heard shouts of anger, and then roars of laughter. She turned around to see Snape, upside down, his underwear exposed. She was outraged to see James's wand pointed towards him, his laughter louder than the others. Remus was sitting down reading, as though he heard nothing. Lily snarled and marched over.

"Potter, you drop him right now!" She demanded, placing her hands on her hips. "Evans! I won't have to do this if you'd just go out with me, y'know." James said with a wink, and Lily gawked as though he was stupid. "Are you an idiot?! I already agreed to go to Hogsmeade with you! Put him down, you wanker!" James realised with surprise that she was right. He had forgotten that she had accepted an invitation to Hogsmeade already.

"Alright, alright." He said, rolling his eyes and lowering his wand. Snape fell to the ground with a loud _thud_. Lily ran to his side. "Severus, are you alright-"

"Leave me alone!" Snape spat angrily, standing up. Lily smiled, "Sev, I'm just helping." She said kindly, reaching a hand out to him. He batted her hand away and cried, "I don't need help from filthy little Mudblood's like you!"

Silence fell over the surrounding students as they stared in disbelief. Lily's smile faded quickly.

James's wand was pointed at Snape again as he shouted, "How dare you? Apologise to her! Take it back, Snivellus!"

"No!" Snape growled, and then turned with a flourish of his cape. He marched away, and James looked to Lily and asked gently, "Are you okay?"

"Stop it, Potter. You're such a big-headed twat. This is all _your_ fault, I hope you know!" Lily snapped, her eyes watering up. James felt sick to his stomach as Lily turned away from him and half jogged to Mary and Marlene.

He turned to Sirius, who was staring at him with wide eyes. Remus stood up and walked over as well, but he couldn't think of anything comforting to say. All he knew was that he wanted to tear Snape apart, and from the look in James's eyes, he wasn't the only one.

* * *

Remus had a free period after lunch, so he went to the library to return some books. After he returned them, he had a look around, and spotted Lily sitting alone. Her head was in her hands and her shoulders were slumped. Remus walked over, and sat by her side. He got no reaction, and so he leaned his head against her shoulder.

"Bad things happen, Lily. They just do, and sometimes there's nothing we can do about it except stay strong and keep going. Trust me, I have experience here. But everything is going to be okay. I promise you." He mumbled. "It doesn't matter how different you are. It doesn't matter how different _we_ are. You're a wonderful person, no matter what."

"And so are you, Remus." Lily said quietly, turning to him. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. She sniffled, and smiled feebly.

"Sirius is an idiot for not snatching you up." She added kindly. Remus laughed lightly, and she let him hug her tightly.

"I thought Severus was my best friend. I thought we'd grow old together, and we'd have our own children, and they would be friends. And we'd tell stories to them about our school years. And we'd never forget each other. But now all I want is to forget him- and Potter. You can tell him I'm not going _anywhere_ with him. It's his fault that Severus was angry like that. He wouldn't have said that if Potter hadn't been such an arse."

"But he's so excited."

"I don't care. He made my oldest friend turn on me. I was under the impression he wasn't such a bad guy, but he's really failing to uphold that." Lily said firmly. Remus's shoulders fell as they pulled away from one another. Lily wiped her eyes, and Remus stood up.

"I guess I'll go deliver the bad news, then." He said, and then gently stroked Lily's hair, smiling at her. She smiled in return, and then he left the room.

As he exited the library and headed down the hall, there was a bright flash of light. He spun around to see Snape, wand out held.

"You! You interfering little freak!" Snape yelled, and Remus's eyes widened. "Me? I didn't do anything, Snape-"

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Snape cried, flicking his wrist. There was another bright flash, and Remus was knocked backwards. He hit the floor, and felt a sharp pain on his face. Snape stormed towards him. "I'm going to kill you, and your stupid friends!"  
"Snape, please, I didn't do anything!"

"That's the problem! What the fuck do you wear that badge for? You're a Prefect! If you see a fight, or someone being bullied, you step in! You're useless, aren't you?!" Snape snarled, leaning down and grabbing Remus's collar. Remus was full of aches and pains, and he was beginning to feel woozy.

"Let me go, please-"

"No! Let's see how you like begging to be left alone! Go on! Beg!" Snape shook Remus, who closed his eyes and said nothing. Snape gave him one final shake, and then threw him down again. "Just stay the hell out of my way, Lupin." He spat, and then left Remus alone in the middle of the hall. After a few minutes, Remus used a window ledge to pull himself up. He waited for the pain to pass, before he began limping towards the dorm.

* * *

When Remus reached the dorm, he was greeted by smiles. Until Sirius got a proper look at him. The black haired lad stood up fast, and touched Remus's cheek with light fingers. When he pulled his hand away, Remus saw his fingertips were covered in glossy blood.

"What happened to you?" Sirius asked, and Remus shook his head. _Snape must have cut me with his wand._

"Nothing happened. I'm fine." Remus mumbled, looking down. His eyes caught a glint of light shining from his Prefect badge. He winced.

"It's the full moon tonight, isn't it?" Sirius asked, his eyes searching Remus's face for any slight twinge of muscle that could indicate that he was in pain. James nodded. "It is."

Remus began walking to his bed, and Sirius stepped out of his way. Remus collapsed onto the sheets and sighed. All he wanted to do was cry, but he couldn't do so in front of Sirius and James, lest they should really start asking questions about what had happened. After a few minutes he remembered what he had to tell James. He slowly sat up and rubbed his tired, sore eyes.

"Prongs, I have bad news." He said, and James looked to him with a curious expression. "It's about this weekend. I've spoken to Lily, and she wants to call it off."

James's eyes squeezed shut and he rolled over, burying his face in his pillow. "Oh no, I'm such an idiot!" He cried out thickly. After a few minutes of silence, James got up and left the room. Remus soon decided that he would like to go downstairs and read, and so he left Sirius alone in the dorm. He sat down on the bright red couch, opened up his newly borrowed book, and began to immerse himself in a fictional world.

* * *

Hours later, Remus shut his already finished book and stood up to stretch. He yawned as he began walking up the stairs to the dorm. He entered the room, and smiled when he saw a bottle of Butterbeer on his bedside table.

"It's from my stash. I thought you looked like you needed some." Sirius drawled with a simper. Remus picked it up and cracked it open, before sitting down on his bed. He quickly thanked Sirius, before having a few mouthfuls. He sighed downheartedly, and took another mouthful. Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Are you alright?" Sirius asked, still simpering. Remus should have been worried about the simper, but his mind was all over the black.

"Everything is getting pretty difficult lately, what with James and Lily fighting, and let's not even talk about all the sexual tension in this room right now-" Remus's hands flew up to his mouth, and his eyes widened. Sirius gaped at him in surprise, and Remus smelt the bottle. He removed his hands to shout, "There's Veritaserum in this! Do you take me for an idiot?!"

"I don't know. You _did _drink it." Sirius said with a small chuckle. Remus blushed fiercely, standing up and marching towards the door. As he left the room, he shouted one last thing at Sirius.

"Just because you're gorgeous, it doesn't mean you can get away with being such a prat!"

Sirius stared at the door for a long time after it had been slammed shut.

_I really am a prat, aren't I? But it's not my fault that I just really wanted answers about what he thought about us- about me. There was no way I was going to get a straight answer if I just asked him, not without an aid…_


	7. Chapter 7- Hard To Swallow

_Why are you walking away? _

_Was it something I did?_

_Did I make a mistake?_

_'Cause I'm trying to deal with the pain._

_I don't understand this._

_Is this how it is?_

_I will try to understand._

* * *

Lily was walking towards the Quidditch pitch with the intention of finding James. She hated him a lot at that moment in time, but he would have been really hurt by her earlier statement and she thought he at least deserved to explain himself.

She made her way over to the Gryffindor wing, and listened out for any sounds that could indicate life. She heard a low moan, and furrowed her brow. She followed the noise to the boys changing room, and pressed her ear against the wooden door to hear what was going on inside a little better. There were wet sounds, broken by the occasional small groan. Her curiosity was especially spiked when she heard a boy saying, "She's a fool. Just look at you. You're _breathtaking_."

She silently pushed against the door, wanting to peek inside to satisfy her curiosity. She regretted the decision instantly.

Inside was a Ravenclaw boy that she couldn't see the face of, pressing a Gryffindor boy against a wall. That Gryffindor happened to be James Potter.

_Is 'she' me?!_  
Lily's gaze was glued to the events happening before her. The boys were kissing passionately. James looked as though he was practiced at kissing this particular boy. Her thoughts were racing a million miles an hour.

_Is he replacing me? I'm so confused; I wanted to talk with him. And I shouldn't be watching this. It's a private thing…_

The Ravenclaw slowly lifted James's shirt, his eyes locked onto James's. Once he had pulled it off, it was tossed away carelessly. The Ravenclaw kissed James's mouth again, before he leaned in press his lips to James's neck. Breathing in deeply through his nose, he mumbled against James's skin; "You smell so good, James…"

James's smile broadened. He looked so_ happy_ in the Ravenclaw's embrace.

"You're so hot…" The Ravenclaw breathed, before moving down, dipping his tongue into the groove at the base of James's neck, nipping the skin over his collar bones, flicking his tongue over a nipple, and kissing lower, and lower, earning little gasps and huffs from James. He shifted onto his knees before James, and pressed his lips to James's stomach. He smiled against the skin there, and James laughed a little.

"Don't be a tease." James said. His voice was low and husky compared to its usual chirpiness.

"I want you so much… Merlin, James, you're just so unbelievably sexy…"

James's face lit up as the Ravenclaw began undoing the zipper on James's jeans. James ran his fingers through the boy's mop of light hair. The boy tucked his fingers under James's pants and his underwear. As he slowly began to drag them down, Lily looked away. She could think of nothing else to do but run from the scene, as fast as her long legs would allow.

_Is everyone around me turning gay?!_

* * *

Remus was lying, curled up, in the middle of the dusty floor in the Shrieking Shack. He was completely naked and covered in his own blood from the wounds he had inflicted on himself. That night, the Marauders had not been able to calm Remus. He was just as violent as he had been before they had started to help him. His thoughts were jumbled but one kept coming to him.

_I wish I was dead…_

James walked over to him with light steps, wrapping him up in a thick woollen blanket they had brought with them the night before. Remus let out a long and pained noise. His eyes were squeezed shut and there were tears spilling down his pale and sickly face. James slipped his arms underneath Remus and hauled him off of the ground. His strong arms easily held Remus's small, limp frame.

"Don't…" Remus groaned, clutching the front of James's shirt with sweaty, shaking hands. James wanted to tighten his grip on Remus but he knew it would hurt the boy. Instead, he whispered to him, "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… we'll get you to the Hospital Wing and Madam Pomfrey will fix you up. You're going to be okay…"

The hours after were always the worst moments of the full moon for Sirius. Even worse than seeing Remus transform. To witness Remus so vulnerable, so helpless, and so completely and utterly out of it crushed Sirius's heart. It was even worse than seeing him transform in the first place, because afterwards he was so small and broken. They began the walk back through the passage. James was in front, carrying Remus. Behind him stood Peter, watching Remus with hurt, watery eyes. Sirius stayed behind, trying not to listen to Remus's muttering.

"Everything hurts. I don't want to be this way. I wish I was dead… _Please_…"

Those were usual things to hear from Remus after his transformation, and although Sirius had heard Remus begging for death many a time, it always hurt him. He hated knowing that such a lovely, bright boy would be torn apart and damaged in such a way. And he couldn't help but think that it was _his_ fault that Remus had such a bad transformation. He had played a cruel trick on the innocent boy, and forced Remus to say things he didn't want to, and he knew that had stressed him. Sirius couldn't make sense of all the guilty thoughts running through his mind. He wanted Madam Pomfrey to clean Remus up so that Remus could smile again.

* * *

_Remus was in a dark, empty place. The space around him stretched on and on into an endless black expanse. The only light was a candle in his hand, the small flame burning a blue light before him. The air smelt distinctly of a certain brand of expensive cologne. The scent was so strong it came close to choking Remus, filling up his throat and his nose, making it hard to draw in fresh air. As he looked around him, he spotted a figure walking his way. As it neared and was bathed in the blue light, Remus saw that it was Sirius. Sirius's smile was sickly sweet as he drawled, "What were you saying about you and me…?"_

_Remus shook his head vigorously, opening his mouth to speak although he made no sound. After a few tries, he managed to produce noise; a loud static sound that seemed to fill the area around him until whiteness suddenly flooded his vision. Sirius had gone, and before him was a bright, large, full moon. He covered his eyes in panic, expecting that strange feeling to smother him, for his mind to seemingly shut down. To feel the poison surge through his blood. But it didn't come. When he uncovered his eyes, he was standing in the courtyard alone. Upon looking skyward, he spotted the full moon hanging in the blackness, watching Remus like a cruel and scrutinizing eye. The controller of the tides and the controller of Remus's life. _

_He glanced to his hands, but he saw no fur. No claws. He felt no need to tear flesh from bones. He was normal, standing in the moonlight that always gave his skin a strange glow. For a moment, the most amazing and wondrous feeling of freedom came over him. His happiness soared high. He didn't change into a beast, for the first time in so many long and painful years._

_And then the world around him faded as wakefulness pulled him from his dream…_

* * *

Remus awoke in the Hospital Wing, which was no surprise to him, really. He didn't remember anything of last night, not even before he had transformed. That usually meant that he had a hard transformation. He looked down at his body, and saw all the cuts, scrapes and bruises. He let out a loud, sad sigh, and that was when Madam Pomfrey toddled over as quickly as she could.

"I was beginning to worry that you weren't going to wake up. You were carried here in a particular bad state." She gushed as she poured him a glass of pumpkin juice. She then handed him a few squares of chocolate, which she was well aware that he would be in need of. "Your friends left about half an hour ago for class. Care Of Magical Creatures, I do believe they said it was."

Remus guessed it must have been before lunch. Madam Pomfrey cleared her throat, "You were having a nightmare, weren't you? You seemed to be sleeping uneasily." She watched him with kind eyes, and Remus nodded. "Yeah, sort of. It was scary at first but it got better."

"Can you tell me what happened?" She asked caringly. No matter how strict and mean she seemed to always be, she had a soft spot for Remus. She had seen him coming and going for two years, not just from the full moon, but from bullies and his clumsy friends. She knew he was a strong boy, and she admired that fact.

"It was nothing. Really." Remus mumbled, sipping some more Pumpkin Juice.

Madam Pomfrey didn't ask about the dream again. She wasn't the type to pry and Remus liked that. It meant he didn't have to make up weird excuses and lie about things; he could just let it be. After finishing the pumpkin juice she handed him a small glass, half-filled with a dark green, gluggy liquid. Remus groaned in disapproval, but he gulped it down. He screwed up his face at the weird aftertaste the gluggy stuff left behind. "Gross…" He mumbled, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Your wounds look well enough. I've cleaned and stitched them. So if you like, you can nip into the showers and clean yourself up before going to class."

Remus gave a curt nod, tugging back the blankets and carefully hauling himself out of the uncomfortable bed. He didn't feel too bad; only minor aches in his legs. He grabbed his uniform, which was folded neatly on the chair beside the bed. Pulling the curtains around the bed shut, he began to change, carefully trying not to get any of his stitching caught in his clothing. When he was done he bid Madam Pomfrey goodbye and left for the showers.

* * *

There was a lot of debate going around, claiming that Lily Evans was the most beautiful girl attending Hogwarts. She got told so often by her friends and, of course, by James. But naturally, like most girls, she didn't entirely believe it herself. She made up for her lack of confidence in her appearance with snappish sass and a nonchalant attitude towards boys who wanted to date her. That was just how she was, and she didn't see any problem with it. Because of that, she could never admit to being jealous of her friend Mary McDonald, with her beautiful light brown hair and her bright smiling eyes, and her sweet boyfriend Betram Aubrey. Mary and Betram were, in Lily's opinion, the cutest couple in Hogwarts. Deep down, Lily wished she had a relationship like theirs. She had often seen Betram buying Mary flowers, chocolates, showering her in kisses, and even gathering the choir and having them sing for her. Lily wanted that too, and after Remus had helped her see that she could most likely have that from James, she was curious.

Lily tried keeping up conversation with Alice, Mary, and Marlene at lunchtime, but her mind was on what she had seen the day before. She was glad none of her friends had noticed that her eyes were often flickering towards the tree under which three quarters of the Marauders were sitting. She supposed that Remus was resting after the full moon. Her eyes settled on James, who was laughing at something Peter had said to him. He looked so innocent, but Lily knew otherwise. She had seen the Ravenclaw boy sitting with a girl earlier, studying. She hadn't failed to notice the love bite on his neck.

Lily had always thought that love bites were only for people who were dating. But then again she had seen Marlene with multiple love bites and she had been single for at least a year.

What James had done had honestly hurt her, even though they never even had a civil conversation. The point was that Lily thought that James was practically in love with her. She thought that he was the kind of guy who would always be faithful. He was beginning to make her feel _somewhat _special for the first time since she had discovered she was witch. But then after she had opened metaphorical the door to let James in, he had simply slammed it shut in her face.

"Lily, you look like you want to tear James's eyes out." Mary observed, wind blowing hair back from her face. Lily looked at her, and shrugged. "Of course I do, you saw what he did to Severus." Mary rubbed Lily's shoulder in understanding. Marlene let out a long sigh, twirling her hair around her finger. Lily rolled her green eyes, already knowing what she was going to say.

"Doesn't Sirius look simply delectable today?"

"You talk about him like he's a dessert." Alice pointed out, making Mary laugh even though Alice wasn't trying to be funny. Marlene pouted like a hurt child. "But just _look_ at him. Isn't he just the most stunningly attractive boy on the face of the earth? Not to mention he's rich, has famous ancestry, and he's the heir to the Black family's house and legacy. Plus he'll go for just about any girl so surely I have a chance-"

"Oh, shut up. He never notices you." Lily muttered quietly, crushing Marlene's spirits. Marlene gave Lily a sharp look, and then she shrugged. "Whatever. He'll come around. At least he's not like Snape."

"What did you just say?" Lily's eyes burned into Marlene with the kind of fury that would have made anyone else crap their pants.

"Did I stutter?" Marlene replied cynically, with a smug smile.

Mary laughed awkwardly, sensing that she needed to lighten the mood or change the subject before somebody got seriously hurt.

"So, how's the weather today? No more snow!"

Lily ignored Mary. She was still glaring at Marlene, who had gone back to watching Sirius hopelessly. She couldn't believe Marlene would say something like that to her. She was really starting to get on Lily's nerves as of late…

* * *

Remus walked across the grounds, and was glad to see his friends sitting in their usual spot. He sat down by James, who smiled brightly.

"Wotcher, Moony! How are feeling?" He asked with a happy tone in his voice. He looked a lot happier than he did a few days ago. Remus smiled. "I'm good, thanks."

Remus tried not to look at Sirius, who was talking with Peter about partnering with Pomona. He was glad when James began talking to him, as it distracted him from Sirius.

"Why is Lily looking at me like that? Sure she can't still be upset about the Snivelly thing." James stated.

Remus scoffed at James and said bluntly, "Prongs, the Snivelly thing happened _yesterday_ for Merlin's sake. She's going to be angry for a while."

"Can't you speak to her, Moony? Please?" James began to plead almost desperately, looking at Remus with big eyes. Remus sighed heavily. He stood up, lightly dusted off the front of his pants, and then straightened his jumper up. "Fine." He huffed.

When Lily spotted Remus walking down the hill in her direction, she couldn't help but let out a groan. She could tell that James had sent him. She stood up and waited for him to reach her. Once he stood before her he said simply, "James sent me."

"I can tell." She replied, and then she realised that it was her perfect chance to ask about James, and what she had witnessed. She nodded in the direction away from her friends, signalling that she wanted to talk in private. When they were out of earshot, Lily leaned in and whispered quite bluntly, "Is Potter gay?"

"What? No! I mean, he has homosexual tendencies but he's not _gay_." Remus replied, rather taken aback by her question. Lily bit her lip in deliberation and Remus raised an eyebrow. "Why do you ask?" His tone held the sound of someone who knew something, but wasn't sure whether or not to let it slip.

"I saw him. With a boy. He was in Ravenclaw. Light hair. Kind of… rectangle shaped, I don't know." Lily tried to find the words to describe him. She kept seeing him pressed against James, and it made her stomach churn. Remus sighed heavily.

"I thought he'd stopped with Dirk…" He muttered, and Lily's eyebrows shot up in question. Remus shifted awkwardly.

"I don't know how to explain this… Long before there was James and Sirius, there was James and Dirk. They were childhood friends and when they got to Hogwarts, that's when things got… _weird. _You know James; he loves having nice things said about him and to him, and that's why he liked Dirk so much. Then one day, Dirk just out and kissed him. So James kissed right back. And that made Dirk say even more nice things. The more they kissed and stuff, the nicer Dirk was. And so it began. Whenever James is upset, and nobody has time for him, he goes to Dirk because Dirk makes him feel better about himself, but it's not something that James is proud of. He hasn't done it in a while though. I guess something upset him a lot, and he had a relapse, so to speak…"

Lily was silent for a few moments, clearly deep in thought. She shook her head slowly. "It's my fault. For getting so angry at him about the Snape ordeal."  
"You shouldn't blame yourself. And you had a right to be angry." Remus told her; although he was also under the impression that Lily had been at the cause of James's relapse. After a moment, Remus reached out and gently touched her arm.

"I'll talk to him about it later, yeah?" He said, with a weak smile. Lily nodded once, and Remus turned to head back up to James, who bombarded him with questions. Remus shook his head, "Not now. Later." He said simply, before his eyes flickered onto Sirius. The black haired boy's eyes met Remus's briefly before they snapped back on Peter. Remus felt heat crawl up his cheeks.

_He's such an idiot! Why did he have to go and get that Veritaserum? He should be aware that my nose could smell out anything. I mean, sure it might have been odourless to the human nose but is he so stupid that he thought I wouldn't be able to sniff it out? I can't believe he would do that when he could have just spoken to me about this situation. Merlins Beard, he just irritates me so much!_

* * *

No matter how hard Remus tried to concentrate on Professor Binn's monotonous lecture, he couldn't stop looking at James. He noticed James's glances towards Dirk, and the sly smile Dirk gave him in return. Sitting by James was Sirius, head resting in his hands as he looked on the verge of sleep. Remus was sure that Sirius must know about his feelings. There was no way he couldn't have realised.

_So why doesn't he say anything? Ugh! I want to throw a chair at his stupid yet poisonously gorgeous face!_

Remus let out a huff, and dragged his eyes away from Sirius. He mustered up all his concentration and put it onto Professor Binns, starting to take notes which he knew Peter and most likely James would need later. Sirius would probably need them too, but there was no way Remus was going to give him _anything_.

* * *

Classes were over, and Remus couldn't have felt gladder. Instead of going back to the dorm, he excused himself and made his way to the Black Lake. He walked up the pier, and sat down at the edge. The light, cool breeze tousled his hair, and there was a calming, peaceful silence excluding the sound of water lapping against the wooden stilts that held up the pier, stopping it from sinking into the murky darkness of the lake. Remus closed his eyes and listened closely to the quiet. His mind wandered. Sometimes, when Remus's mind wandered, it was good and he smiled. Other times, he cried. This time, it was the latter. Tears slipped down his cheeks, and his brow furrowed.

_Why is this all happening to me? Could it not have happened to someone at least vaguely normal? Somebody who was attractive and charming and knew how to handle a situation like developing a crush on their male best friend. They wouldn't steal away to the end of a pier to have a cry. They take matters into their own hands and things would blow over. But not for me. No, things aren't that easy for me. Everything I do seemed to go wrong. I can't hold a relationship without it falling apart. I can hardly go anywhere without being picked on. I try and spend a quiet night at home as a kid and what happens? I get torn to pieces by a Werewolf! And now I'll never lead a normal life! Why am I always on the wrong side of luck?_

It wasn't long before he heard footsteps approaching him. Someone sat by his side. Remus opened his eyes and looked to his side. He was glad his tears had stopped.

"I uh, saw you on the Map." Sirius said simply, a small smile playing over his lips. Remus sighed in annoyance. "What do you want, Sirius?" He asked bluntly. Sirius observed him for a second. Remus's eyes, which were cast out over the lake, looked red and puffy. Sirius knew instantly that he had been crying.

Sirius could tell that Remus was very unhappy with him. But he knew he had to set things right once and for all. Sirius looked down at his twiddling thumbs and licked his lips quickly.

"Look, Moony- Remus. I'm really sorry about what I did. I just… I needed answers and I wasn't sure if I would get them out of you without help." Again, Sirius licked his lips.

"Did you get your damn answers? Why are you bothering me?" Remus snapped. Sirius cringed slightly, before continuing. "No… I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry. Like I said, I didn't know if you'd tell me things any other way." His voice cracked slightly, and Remus's glare softened and Sirius's tongue flickered over his lips again.

"I probably would have, you know, Sirius. You didn't have to do something as stupid as spiking my drink. I was really embarrassed- I still am. But you seemed to enjoy my reaction so don't tell me you feel all that bad about it." Remus replied. Sirius looked at him with sincere eyes, licking his lips again. "If anything, I only really enjoyed the bit where you said I was gorgeous." He said quietly. Remus's brow furrowed a little. "What do you mean by that?"

Sirius's tongue flickered over his lips once more, before he leaned in close to Remus's face. Their eyes met, and then Sirius kissed him.


	8. Chapter 8- Coming Together

_Our eyes locked tight and the moment was right_

_I saved you from yourself_

_You will realise that true love is for real _

_Just look in my eyes and you'll see how you feel _

_What will it be?_

_This city or me?_

'_Cause when it comes down the crunch I will always be there_

_A tidal wave of your sea of smiles_

_This perfect moment shared_

_And all these moments shared they will be shared right and true_

_Nowhere is perfect except here with you_

_Sirius's tongue flickered over his lips once more, before he leaned in close to Remus's face. Their eyes met, and then Sirius kissed him._

Sirius broke the kiss for a brief moment to shift closer to Remus and place a hand on his cheek, revelling in the sweet and shaky breath that Remus drew in before they reconnected.

_He's kissing me. He's kissing me. He's kissing me. Merlin, what do I do? I'm supposed to be mad at him! _

Remus's thoughts of protest melted away with the feeling of Sirius's other hand coming to rest on the back of Remus's neck, fingers entangling in his soft hair. There was something about the way that Sirius moved his lips that put all of Remus's insecurities to sleep. The kiss lasted a matter of seconds before Sirius slowly pulled away from Remus (Although he _really_ didn't want to).

Remus noticed with a wave of relief that he wasn't the only one who had gone bright red. Sirius was blushing heavily, and his eyes were still locked on Remus's lips. Remus laughed lightly.

"What?" Sirius asked, smiling as he drew his eyes away from Remus's slightly wet lips. Remus looked out over the lake and said quietly, "You look all flustered like a little school girl."

"It's your fault I'm this way." Sirius stated, reaching over and taking Remus's hand in his own. "I'm still really sorry about what I did, okay? I'll do anything to make it up to you, Moony." Sirius said softly, making Remus smile. A few seconds passed before Remus cleared his throat a little. "So, what do we do now? I mean… we can't exactly just be friends anymore, can we?"

Silence followed Remus's question, before Sirius broke out into a cheeky grin. "Are you asking me to be your boyfriend, Moony?" He enquired, simpering at Remus. Remus flushed red and wiggled his hand out of Sirius's.

"I never said that."  
"Remus I can tell you right now, I _refuse_ to have you as my fuck-buddy."

"I never said that, either!"

"Well then, what is it?"

"I don't know if I want to be your boyfriend, I'm just saying that I really like you and I know you like me too. So maybe… I can't find the stupid words to say this…"

"Maybe I shouldn't go kissing other people until you decide you want to be with me or not?" Sirius suggested, and Remus leaned forward to look into the water. "That's sounds sort of like what I wanted to say." He muttered, and Sirius placed his hand on Remus's back. "Alright. Deal. I'll wait for you, Moony."

"Thank you." Remus replied, straightening up so that he could nestle into Sirius's warm side. Sirius wrapped an arm around Remus and smiled at the way the light reflecting from the water made his eyes sparkle.

Lily sat in the library with Mary, studying silently. Marlene was nowhere to be seen, and nor was Alice. Lily was okay with that, however. Out of all the girls, it was well known that Lily enjoyed Mary's company best. Mary and Lily were very alike; loud, funny, and pretty.

"Hey, Lily?" Mary whispered suddenly. Lily looked to her side and raised a questioning eyebrow. "Do I look better in pastel colours, or vivid colours?"

Lily stifled a laugh.

"Why?"

"Duh. I'm going to Hogsmeade with Betram tomorrow."

"Oh. Well I think you could wear a House Elf's potato sack and Betram would still think that the sun shines out of your arse. But I do like the way vivid yellow looks on you." Lily told her, and Mary grinned broadly.

"You're right. Thanks Lily. What would I do without you?" She said, and she was cast a reprimanding look from the librarian. Mary lowered her head and continued reading.

Half an hour passed before Lily shut her book. Mary followed her lead, and the two girls left the library.

"Lily?" Mary began as they walked down the corridor. Lily looked at her side on, "Yes?"

"You should go to Hogsmeade with James." Mary told her, smiling crookedly. "I can tell that you still want to. And you can't make up some lie about feeling guilty for Snape because as I recall, he _did_ call you a M- you know." Mary cocked an eyebrow at her friend. Lily sighed, her shoulders slumping.

"You're right. But… I'm just really indecisive about it. I'll probably still go with him; I just want him to know that I'm not going to bow at his feet like any of his loyal little followers, alright?" Lily admitted, and Mary clasped her hands together in excitement. Mary had always thought Lily and James would make a cute couple, and had hoped for a long time that Lily would see the light. Now that she was, Mary was beside herself with joy, grinning like a madwoman all the way to the classroom where she was planning on meeting Betram. From there, Lily continued on to the Gryffindor Common Room on her own, deep in thought.

James sighed, staring at the flames. He was lounging on the red couch in the Common Room, feeling sorry for himself. He felt alone, broken up, and torn. He felt like he needed kind words, and he didn't like feeling that way because he knew what it lead to; Dirk.

It always felt so good at the time. The sweet words, the little gasps, the touches. But James felt overcome with guilt after every time he had a rendezvous with Dirk. It had been so long since the last time that he had forgotten how bad it made him feel.

He was glad when Sirius and Remus walked into the classroom. Sirius's arm was around Remus's shoulders, and they were laughing together. That alone brought a smile to James's face. Remus spotted James, and paused. He said something quietly to Sirius, who nodded a little and rubbed Remus's arm, smiling gently, before heading up the stairs into the dormitory. Remus then made his way over to James. James sat up and smiled at Remus. He was about to comment on how glad he was that Remus and Sirius were friends again before Remus spoke in a near whisper.

"I'm not going to sugar-coat this for you because you should know better, alright? Lily saw you with Dirk."

Lily couldn't have chosen a more perfect time to walk into the Common Room. She spotted Remus and James on the couch, and watched as James's eyes widened immensely. She guessed that Remus was talking to him about Dirk, and she quickly took a seat just out of their view.

James stood up, going bright red in the cheeks. His breathing sped up.

"Don't. James. Breathe." Remus warned him. "No! She couldn't have! This will ruin-" He drew in a shaky breath. Lily stood up fast, feeling worry race through her. _Is James okay?_

James's knees gave way, and he stumbled onto the couch. "James! Breathe!" Remus exclaimed. He wanted to hold James, but he knew it would only send him into further panic.

"It's been weeks, James, don't do this now!" Remus begged, but he got no reply. James squeezed his eyes shut. He was trying, he really was. But his breathing wouldn't calm, and he was scared. He was so unbelievably scared.

_I've screwed this up so bad! Damn it! Damn Snape, and damn Dirk! I was finally getting somewhere with Lily, but I'm such an idiot! _

Lily suddenly appeared at Remus's side. "What do we do? Is he okay?" She asked desperately. Remus ran a hand through his hair. "He's not going to be okay with all these people around."

Lily turned around. There were only a handful of first years and a couple of seventh years, but they were all staring at the scene. She snarled. "What are you all staring at? Everyone, out! I'm a Prefect, and so is he, so you better listen to me! Out, out, out!" Lily ordered. People slowly began to leave the room. Remus couldn't stand the sound of James's heavy sobs and gasps for air. "I'll get Sirius; he'll know what to do." He said, before racing up the stairs. Lily watched James with sad eyes. _Poor guy…_

"Padfoot!" Remus cried out as he burst through the door into the dorm. There he found Sirius lounging back on Remus's bed, reading one of his Muggle magazines. He dropped it in horror when he saw Remus. "Ah! Moony! I'm sorry, I couldn't help it, I was curious- What's the matter?"

"It's James. He's freaking out, and I don't know what to do. You've dealt with him before, please!" Remus pleaded, his expression twisted with worry. Sirius was up in an instant, following Remus down the stairs and over to the couch. James had only calmed down a little; he was still sobbing, his chest heaving in an attempt to breathe evenly. Lily watched him, a hand over her mouth in shock. Sirius walked over and knelt before him.

"Hey, Prongs? _Mon ami_? It's me. Sirius. Breathe with me. In, hold it, and out. In, hold it, and out." This continued for a minute, and slowly Sirius reached for James's hand. James let him take it, and Sirius asked if he was okay yet.

"Mm. I think so." James replied, squeezing his best friend's hand. Remus felt a pang of jealously, but he kept in mind that Sirius promised he wouldn't hook up with anyone, and also that James and Sirius were like brothers. When Sirius let James's hand go, James sat up. He was very surprised to be wrapped in a hug from Lily.

"Potter, you git! How could you scare me like that?!" Lily asked in a scolding tone. But James could pick out worry in her voice, and it made his heart soar. After a few moments, she pulled away. James cleared his throat, before whispering.

"I don't have any romantic feelings for him, I promise. It's just that when I'm upset, I don't think straight, and I feel… like I need someone to give my self-confidence a little boost. Dirk does that. But I swear, I feel horrible afterwards, and I feel horrible now. I'm really sorry, Lily. I truly am."

James's eyes were clearly full of sadness and regret. He looked so innocent and sincere that Lily wanted to take back every single nasty thing that she ever said to him. Of course, she didn't.

"It's alright, I guess. And, if I've not done too much damage already… maybe we could still be on for tomorrow?"

Kids starting filing into the Common Room again. James broke into a mad smile.

"Really? Of course, Lily. I wouldn't want anything else in the world more than to go with you." James said in the sweetest voice he could muster, although it still shook a little. He smiled at her and for a moment, Lily was taken away. In that moment, for the first time, Lily admitted to herself that James had an amazing smile.

_Look at the way his eyes just lit up… look at how he's looking at me. He can't be faking a look like that. I feel like I am the very thing that brings life in the universe right now_.

And to James, she was exactly that.

"I can't believe she's still taking that prat to Hogsmeade this weekend! After all he's done!" Severus Snape snarled viciously, clenching his fists in something akin to blind rage. He was sitting on the black leather couch in the Slytherin Common Room (dungeon, more like), across from Regulus Black. It was late at night; eleven o'clock.

Regulus was only in Third Year, but he was a nasty, scheming brat. Regulus lounged back in an armchair, staring at the iron chandelier suspended from the roof. He simpered, entertained by his friends anger.

"You get angry too easily. That's what made you lose her in the first place, _non_?" Regulus drawled.

The Black family had French blood in its veins, and as a result, the boys sometimes threw in French words into their sentences. Nothing too complicated, though. Just enough to sound glamorous, or sexy. It was a card that the Black brothers played well. Nobody could resist a mysterious, brooding Slytherin or a gorgeous, flirtatious Gryffindor muttering to them in French.

Snape shot Regulus a threatening look, which Regulus chose to ignore completely. Regulus licked his lips (the Black brothers are more alike than they care to realise) before saying, his tone laden with disgust, "I have more pressing matters. Namely the fact that Rodolphus has reported he saw my brother snogging that freak Lupin by the lake earlier today, just after classes finished. I want to dismiss it as untrue, but we all know my brother. He's certainly the type that would go around putting his lips on half-blooded lads."

"I'd never have picked your treacherous fool of a brother as one that would sink _that_ low. I mean, sure, your brother is a complete and utter douche-canoe, but Lupin is the epitome of repulsiveness. A pale half-blood, and those scars… They can't just be from a Muggle accident, like he says. There's something shady about him, and now Sirius and him are probably shagging like rabbits."

"_What_ _the_ _fuck_- Oh, thanks! That's the last image I want in my head right now, Snape." Regulus snapped, and Snape held back a chuckle. "You don't think Lily and Potter might… date, do you?" Snape then asked Regulus. The youngest Black brother shrugged nonchalantly. He didn't care at all about Snape's problem with Potter and the Mudblood. All Regulus cared about was finding a way to torture his older brother.

_Perhaps I'll write a letter home to mother? Tell her that the eldest son and heir to the Black legacy is dating a half-blooded boy. She'd flip her shit! That'd teach Sirius a lesson for being so fucking fantastic, like he's better than me or something. How dare that idiot flaunt himself around like he's the hottest thing on the face of the earth? Like he's the only person that matters. Just because he gets a lot of sex it doesn't make him the only person that matters, it just makes him a slut and that's all. Honestly, I hope Sirius breaks Lupin's heart. I'd love to see a friend of Potter's get hurt like that. Fucking James Potter. Fantastically awesome Potter. Attractive Quidditch Captain Potter. Clever Potter. Potter, Potter, Potter. The brother Sirius always wanted, isn't he? God, and look at him compared to Snape. No wonder that Mudblood is choosing Potter. Snape's just a scrawny bastard- Like Lupin, actually. I don't even want to think about Lupin right now, and I certainly don't want to think about him spreading his cheeks for my brother. Damn Snape for putting that image in my head. He's right though, there is definitely something shady about Lupin. A picture perfect prefect, with pale skin, scars, tired eyes, some days he's covered in bruises… Shit! I can't have him and my brother getting together! I have to do something! Sirius needs to be taught a lesson and I will teach it to him, one way or another and I don't care how immoral things become!_

It was then that Regulus realised Snape had been trying to speak to him. "Reg, for fucks sake! Get your head out of the clouds!"

"Snape, I hate to be the bad guy here (not really), but Evans is probably going to fall in love with Potter, have his kid, and then die young which will leave the kid as some orphan with enough angst to fuel seven books and eight movies."

"Sometimes I can't remember why I'm friends with you." Snape replied, standing up and walking away from a smirking, smug faced Regulus.


End file.
